It's the bad joke thread

[doemasters]

What did one boob say to the other?
We are breast friends!

 

[doemasters]

Where do cows hang their paintings?
In the moooseum

 

[doemasters]

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1Forrest1

 

[doemasters]

What do you call a nun that sleep walks?
A ROAMIN’ CATHOLIC!

 

[doemasters]

What did the shy pebble wish?
THAT SHE WAS A LITTLE BOULDER!

 

[rick4bama]

What part of your body is brave?
Your finger it will go up your nose to get the boogie out!

 

[doemasters]

a piece of string walks into a bar.

the bar tender says "Hey you, string! get out of here! we don't serve string in this bar!" so the string walks outside into the alley, ties himself into a knot and frays his ends up as much as he can.

he walks back into the bar.

the bartender says "hey! aren't you that piece of string?!"

the string replies "nope, frayed knot!"

 

[rick4bama]

:rolf: :clap:

 

[It Takes Eleven]

a set of jumper cables walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks him up and down and says, "okay buddy, I'm going to serve you but don't you go starting anything!"

 

[psychojoe]

A man visits his psychiatrist and says 'Doc, you've got to help me. I keep having these two dreams. One dream, I'm a tepee, the next time I'M A WIGWAM.'

The shrink says 'you need to relax more. You're just too tense.'

 

[rick4bama]

Teacher :Little Johnny will you say the ABC's
Little Johnny: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z...
Teacher: Little Johnny you miss P.
Little Johnny: No I didn't it ran down my leg.

 

[rick4bama]

A dirty joke
A white horse fell in muddy water

 

[doemasters]

Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!

 

[doemasters]

What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream!

 

[rick4bama]

Doe: I saw a bear in the wood today.
Brandon: Did you give him one barrel or two?
Doe: I gave the whole shotgun to him!!

disclaimer:
The names were chance to protect the innocent.

 

[Bamabww]

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

 

[Bamabww]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

[Bamabww]

How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

 

[rick4bama]

John: What the different between a box of cracker and a elephant?
Ted: I don't know
John: Remind me to never let you go buy me a box of cracker.

 

[doemasters]

Why did the can crusher quit hit job?
It was soda pressing!