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Bond between O'Briens and Marrones endures
More than 20 years of intertwined friendships, marriages and professions, tied together by...
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Bond between O'Briens and Marrones endures
O'Brien, Buffalo's Marrone and wives a study in friendship
Brian T. Smith Sep. 27, 2014
A story Hollywood would reject because it is perfect and unbelievable. Two husbands, two coaches, two wives, two shared worlds. More than 20 years of intertwined friendships, marriages and professions, tied together by a violent sport men devote their unpredictable lives to and women follow close but from afar.
"You really have to be all in," said Colleen, O'Brien's wife.
That was never a question for the coaches. O'Brien, 44, has devoted his professional life to football, Marrone, 50, the same. The fiery, proud, heavily sarcastic duo bonded for gridiron eternity nearly 20 years ago at Georgia Tech, when few cared about their names, and the thankless honor of cutting game film in darkened rooms was all that mattered.
At noon Sunday at NRG Stadium, it will be O'Brien's Texans facing Marrone's Buffalo Bills, with life arcs, offseason bragging rights and personal pride on the line in a crisscrossed contest of 2-1 teams that Marrone knows will be "competitive as hell."
"I'm so damn excited for them and proud of them to be playing this Sunday, especially at the highest level you can get," former Yellow Jackets coach George O'Leary said. "I think there's nothing better."
There is something better. Colleen, Helen, Marrone and O'Brien know it. Their friendships. Their lives. Their shared story.
O'Brien and Marrone intentionally played down their surreal journey last week, covering up the depth of their affection by throwing tongue-locked-into-cheek verbal punches throughout Week 4, jawing like they were on their annual weekend-vacation family getaway, instead of separated by more than 1,500 miles and two football worlds.
"(O'Brien) is a liar," Marrone said. "I never liked that guy."
Thanks to Colleen, Helen liked her guy. Thanks to Helen, Colleen liked her guy. And that's where the unbelievable Colleen-Helen-Marrone-O'Brien story begins.
Flutie Effect
Helen has made it more than 20 years without publicly telling her side. When she finally agrees, the wife of one of only 32 NFL head coaches in the world relents with the condition she'll only talk if her former Boston College roommate also speaks.
Less than 30 minutes after Helen calls, Colleen rings the same line.
"I loved Helen from the minute I met her," Colleen said. "While we have a lot of things in common, our personalities are very different. She's much more extroverted than I am."
Helen also was pulled in by the Flutie Effect. In 1984, a 5-10 quarterback with the first name of Doug threw a Hail Mary touchdown that remains one of the greatest plays in college football history.
Post-Flutie, Boston College was swarmed by applicants. A football coach's daughter from Murfreesboro, Tenn., with a thick Southern accent became an Eagle.
Colleen was instantly attached to Helen's warm personality and sarcastic sense of humor - a recurring trait among the O'Briens and Marrones.
But Colleen also was quiet, shy and initially nervous, having traded a small Catholic high school in upstate New York for college life in Boston. Buoyed by Helen's energy, the two clicked as freshmen and became roommates during their final two years.
"It was probably because we were the poorest kids on campus," Helen said. "Everybody had a lot more beer money than we did."
Post-undergrad, Helen returned to Tennessee and attended law school in Memphis. Colleen remained in Boston, working in the athletic department at Northeastern University.
Through mutual friends, Colleen met the Huskies offensive line coach. He was intelligent, hardworking, direct and funny. He also knew the qualities he wanted in a future wife.
"(Colleen) called me out of the blue and said, 'I think there's a guy you need to meet,' " Helen said. "And I thought it was funny, because he lived in Boston. I knew she had vetted him pretty well at that point."
So had O'Leary, who was on the verge of making Marrone director of football operations at Georgia Tech. Marrone planned to drive to Atlanta to finalize the job.
Before the trip, Colleen made a simple matchmaking pitch: "You should meet my friend Helen. What could happen?"
Colleen almost 20 years later: "Who knew? I figure they'd get to know each other and go out a few times and that would be it."
Beginnings
The Boston-to-Atlanta pit stop became a Memphis-Atlanta connection. Marrone began his slow rise under O'Leary. Helen remained focused on law. Colleen's matched couple was young, life was open and everything was new.
"It was fun," Helen said. "I worked hard and he worked hard. When we saw each other, we saw each other."
Southern interstate dating became love, love became marriage and the direct former Northeastern coach Colleen told her former Boston College roommate to take a chance on became Helen's husband.
Since 1995, Marrone has turned a playing career that included just five NFL games and a brief NFL Europe run in London into three collegiate and four pro coaching stints.
On Jan. 6, 2013, he beat O'Brien in the NFL coaching race, taking over the constantly rebuilding Bills. The coach's daughter was a coach's wife.
"Believe me, I have asked (Colleen) many times: 'What the heck were you thinking? This is your fault,' " Helen said.
Thunderstruck
Colleen's trip was nearly canceled.
She was in her first year of law school at Wake Forest and wanted to become an athletic director. A long holiday weekend provided a reprieve from books, legal history and cases.
But the initial introvert who had slowly adjusted to Boston College life was now dealing with the culture shock of the South.
And she was stuck in the middle of a Southern thunderstorm on Interstate 85, after deciding to drive from Winston-Salem, N.C., to Atlanta, just so she could hang out for a few days with a couple she recently had matched up.
"I was like, 'What am I doing?' " Colleen said. "I have no idea where I am and I honestly almost started turning around."
Colleen also loved sports, Helen and Marrone had become a thing, and Georgia Tech was hosting North Carolina on Saturday. O'Leary's Yellow Jackets edged the Tar Heels 27-25 on Oct. 14, 1995.
By the time the game was over, Colleen recalls near-empty stands and more rain.
"I'm one of those people who remembers things that are never going to serve a purpose later in life," Colleen said.
Unlike Helen and Marrone, Colleen remembers every detail of everything that followed.
The trio and some friends headed to Frankie's, an Atlanta sports bar loaded with televisions showing nonstop football. A new Georgia Tech coaching friend of Marrone's - a football-crazed, sarcastic New Englander with proud Boston roots - was there with his father and brother. Colleen quickly hit it off with one of the Bostonians.
"I actually spent most of that night there talking with his dad because Bill was so wrapped up by all these TVs," Colleen said. "I should've run for my life."
Eventually, there was another hangout place and more conversation. This time, O'Brien and Colleen talked. Phone numbers were exchanged. O'Brien invited Colleen to another Georgia Tech game.
"I couldn't believe she liked him, that's the only thing," Marrone said. "I remember that."
Of course, O'Brien also had invited his high school best friend and two former Brown roommates - who were "nuts," Colleen said jokingly - to the same future Yellow Jackets game.
"It was trial by fire, honestly," Colleen said. "I just got thrown right into it."
She stayed and never left. After her first year at Wake Forest, Colleen moved to Atlanta. She finished law school at Georgia State via night classes and worked at a publishing company. In 1998, the woman who matched Helen and Marrone married O'Brien.
The guy who couldn't stop watching football on bar TVs was warm, knew his Boston sports history and was surprisingly hilarious.
O'Brien also had been raised with the same Catholic values as Colleen and appreciated the same things in life. And, man, could he tell a good joke.
"I love when people do get to know him," Colleen said. "Because I would never tell him that I think he's funny, but he is. He does really good impressions sometimes. He just cracks me up."
The mentor
O'Leary will have to watch Sunday's reunion on tape.
Central Florida plays the Cougars in Houston on Thursday night and the Knights have to practice Sunday.
So while his two former overly dedicated, overly football-obsessed protégés yell, scream and pace the sidelines Sunday at NRG Stadium, an aging man will ask his wife to record the Bills game against the Texans, then view the replay later like a father watching his sons.
"They've been through a lot," O'Leary said. "They worked their way up to where they are now. It didn't come easy. They've both been extremely hard workers, great people persons."
Marrone's sarcasm peaked when the duo's early monk-like, little-pay Yellow Jackets days were mentioned.
"I was a scholarship player at Syracuse. Bill went to Brown, OK?" Marrone said. "He's from Massachusetts and went to some hoity-toity prep school."
Colleen and Helen insisted the O'Brien-Marrone Georgia Tech myth is real. Diving into jobs that later proved critical to their coaching ascensions, the two lived in the same apartment complex, carpooled to the office, began the daily football life at 5 a.m. and didn't return home until the work - which never ended and always could be improved upon - was temporarily done.
For a time, O'Brien and Marrone were effectively married; two former Boston College roommates saw more of themselves than their husbands.
"To be able to do that and go through that with somebody … I don't think either one of us could've gone through that alone," Marrone said.
O'Brien spent eight years in Atlanta, then lowered himself again for grunt work with Bill Belichick's New England Patriots, before his coaching ladder finally pointed upward.
Marrone spent four years with the Yellow Jackets, always remaining close with his long-dependable friend, who remembers what the real work was like at Georgia Tech.
"Both are loyal. Period," Helen said. "They have a lot of trust in each other, and there's just a huge comfort level there that is really helpful in this business."
NFL vacation
They get a weekend away. In good years, two. Often during Memorial Day.
Always with the idea that football won't come up, while understanding that it almost always will, once the personal lives, families and children receive the attention they deserve. Colleen, Helen, Marrone and O'Brien go on NFL vacation.
"Not only are (the Marrones) our close friends, but they also can appreciate the unique position that we're in as a football family," Colleen said. "There's things that they get that some of my other friends just don't, because they haven't experienced it, like going through a bad season or all the ups and downs."
O'Brien and Marrone get it. A life bond that dates back nearly 20 years is carried by near-weekly telephone conversations. And pure, unfiltered, loving sarcasm.
Verbal sparring
O'Brien: "Now you know why (Marrone) doesn't have many friends. Those of us that are his friends try to stick by him."
Marrone: "I'm friends with (O'Brien's) wife. I'm not friends with him."
O'Brien: "His wife is a lot cooler than him."
Marrone: "I would never thank Bill. I always thank Colleen."
Sunday will be the Bills and Texans. O'Brien and Marrone. Helen will remain with her children and stay away from the stadium, knowing she and Colleen will be a "nervous wreck."
"We've talked about it, the four of us," Helen said. "I'm so proud of Doug and I'm so proud of Bill. But I guess we all know how precarious things are."
Love isn't. Helen liked her guy. Colleen liked hers.
Four life-changing friendships later, the Helen-Colleen-Marrone-O'Brien story is better than ever.
"The one thing about the both of us, we'd both agree our wives are a whole lot smarter than either of us," Marrone said.
