Don't put your hands on others or berade them and you have zero to worry about. That's why picking a significant other is important, because if you love someone you would never in a negative way put your hands on them, or yell so loud at them that they feel threatened. That's not one way biased, it goes both ways, sport.
You state she has issues, and he has issues as well, so trying to pin it on her and making him act as if it's all her is wrong. You've taken the exact same tone in every conversation here on domestic abuse and women calling out men for wrongdoing. It's not a great look man, and you should look at it from your wife's perspective and if you held her to the same standard you're holding these other women where it's poor you and not poor her.