Fasten your seatbelts: Ole Miss trainwreck ahead on Rebel Railway
Friends, SEC fans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come not to bury Ole Miss, but to praise it.
You can't help but like the Rebels. They are the SEC's lovable little fuzzball. Houston Nutt is a wonderful fellow who has a nice coaching resume. He was run out of Arkansas and immediately welcomed like a king in Oxford.
But enough of the Disney movie. Let's return to regularly scheduled programming.
Ole Miss fans had better be wearing seat belts. They better have the sash over their shoulders. They better make sure the frontal air bags are in working order. Why? Because this Ole Miss train is about to run off the track. The biggest crowd in Oxford this year won't be drinking and carrying on at the Grove before the Alabama game. It will be later in the season as fans gather to rubberneck the Ole Miss trainwreck.
I really feel sorry for the Ole Miss faithful. They're in for a fall (see Georgia last year). They are college football's trendy pick. You've seen the preseason magazines. Most have the Rebels in the top 10. The Sporting News has them as high as No. 5. Tim Brando, the CBS college football studio host and eagle-eyed SEC observer, has Ole Miss at No. 3.
Ole Miss head football coach Houston Nutt: He's a 'wonderful fellow' but his team's headed for a letdown this season. Why? Because they're Ole Miss and you can't get to Atlanta from Oxford.
But there is a major problem for the Rebels and their quest to take on Florida in the SEC Championship Game. You can't get to Atlanta from Oxford. It's not going to happen.
Why not? Because they're Ole Miss.
I know this sounds pedestrian and prosaic. However, miracles don't happen very often in college football and I don't see one happening this time around.
Ole Miss tradition can be summed up in one family -- the Mannings. Take Archie and Eli out of the equation and the school barely has a Hall of Fame.
Since the '60s, Ole Miss hasn't been No. 1 in anything except throwing whiskey bottles. And unlike fans of some other schools, Ole Miss faithful don't even put up an argument. Oh, except for the most famous saying you hear around the Grove before, during and after a game: "We may not win every game, but we've never lost a party."
Nice. But it hardly rivals fans beating their chest and boasting of 12 national championships.
There is a reason for the Ole Miss hype this year. It starts with the senior quarterback. And the schedule is great. Well, actually, it's pathetic.
There are some sorority powder-puff teams with a tougher non-conference slate than the Rebels: Memphis, USL, UAB and Northern Arizona. Are you kidding me? Do you think Northern Arizona will even bring a band? Cheerleaders? Do their players go both ways? The best players combined from those four couldn't hang with Vandy for a half.
The conference schedule worked out great with Alabama, Arkansas, Tennessee and LSU all at home. The toughest road games are at South Carolina (Thursday night) and Auburn.
When your toughest road game in 2009 is at Auburn, you've got an easy schedule.
In fairness, Ole Miss went to the Swamp last year and won -- a big reason so much hype has come the Rebels' way. I think Ole Miss might even beat Alabama in Oxford this year. It will be billed as the Game of the Century.
But the reality is Ole Miss has a history of choking and this year will be no exception. They'll blow a game or two that keeps them home watching the SEC title game. Last year, Ole Miss lost to Vanderbilt and South Carolina at home. Vandy was before the Florida game. South Carolina came the week following. Typical Ole Miss.
Have you ever seen the book: "Greatest Moments in Ole Miss Football History" at the bookstore? No, and there's a reason. They've only had two. When Archie Manning signed his letter of intent and when Eli followed suit 32 years later.
In fairness, Ole Miss used to play big boy football - winning national titles and all that jazz. Of course, this was before the color barrier was shattered in the SEC in the late '60s.
Do you think it's a coincidence that a school whose nickname is the Rebels hasn't won a league title since blacks started playing in the SEC? The last league title was 1963.
Even former coach Tommy Tuberville said the Confederate flag waving at games hurt his recruitment of black players. The school finally dumped its mascot "Johnny Reb" in 2003. Some school faithful are still in mourning. Just like they will be when this season is over.
If you're looking for sure money, don't fly to Vegas. Bet against the Ole Miss Rebels. It's been the surest thing in college football for the past 45 years.
Friends, SEC fans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come not to bury Ole Miss, but to praise it.
You can't help but like the Rebels. They are the SEC's lovable little fuzzball. Houston Nutt is a wonderful fellow who has a nice coaching resume. He was run out of Arkansas and immediately welcomed like a king in Oxford.
But enough of the Disney movie. Let's return to regularly scheduled programming.
Ole Miss fans had better be wearing seat belts. They better have the sash over their shoulders. They better make sure the frontal air bags are in working order. Why? Because this Ole Miss train is about to run off the track. The biggest crowd in Oxford this year won't be drinking and carrying on at the Grove before the Alabama game. It will be later in the season as fans gather to rubberneck the Ole Miss trainwreck.
I really feel sorry for the Ole Miss faithful. They're in for a fall (see Georgia last year). They are college football's trendy pick. You've seen the preseason magazines. Most have the Rebels in the top 10. The Sporting News has them as high as No. 5. Tim Brando, the CBS college football studio host and eagle-eyed SEC observer, has Ole Miss at No. 3.
Ole Miss head football coach Houston Nutt: He's a 'wonderful fellow' but his team's headed for a letdown this season. Why? Because they're Ole Miss and you can't get to Atlanta from Oxford.
But there is a major problem for the Rebels and their quest to take on Florida in the SEC Championship Game. You can't get to Atlanta from Oxford. It's not going to happen.
Why not? Because they're Ole Miss.
I know this sounds pedestrian and prosaic. However, miracles don't happen very often in college football and I don't see one happening this time around.
Ole Miss tradition can be summed up in one family -- the Mannings. Take Archie and Eli out of the equation and the school barely has a Hall of Fame.
Since the '60s, Ole Miss hasn't been No. 1 in anything except throwing whiskey bottles. And unlike fans of some other schools, Ole Miss faithful don't even put up an argument. Oh, except for the most famous saying you hear around the Grove before, during and after a game: "We may not win every game, but we've never lost a party."
Nice. But it hardly rivals fans beating their chest and boasting of 12 national championships.
There is a reason for the Ole Miss hype this year. It starts with the senior quarterback. And the schedule is great. Well, actually, it's pathetic.
There are some sorority powder-puff teams with a tougher non-conference slate than the Rebels: Memphis, USL, UAB and Northern Arizona. Are you kidding me? Do you think Northern Arizona will even bring a band? Cheerleaders? Do their players go both ways? The best players combined from those four couldn't hang with Vandy for a half.
The conference schedule worked out great with Alabama, Arkansas, Tennessee and LSU all at home. The toughest road games are at South Carolina (Thursday night) and Auburn.
When your toughest road game in 2009 is at Auburn, you've got an easy schedule.
In fairness, Ole Miss went to the Swamp last year and won -- a big reason so much hype has come the Rebels' way. I think Ole Miss might even beat Alabama in Oxford this year. It will be billed as the Game of the Century.
But the reality is Ole Miss has a history of choking and this year will be no exception. They'll blow a game or two that keeps them home watching the SEC title game. Last year, Ole Miss lost to Vanderbilt and South Carolina at home. Vandy was before the Florida game. South Carolina came the week following. Typical Ole Miss.
Have you ever seen the book: "Greatest Moments in Ole Miss Football History" at the bookstore? No, and there's a reason. They've only had two. When Archie Manning signed his letter of intent and when Eli followed suit 32 years later.
In fairness, Ole Miss used to play big boy football - winning national titles and all that jazz. Of course, this was before the color barrier was shattered in the SEC in the late '60s.
Do you think it's a coincidence that a school whose nickname is the Rebels hasn't won a league title since blacks started playing in the SEC? The last league title was 1963.
Even former coach Tommy Tuberville said the Confederate flag waving at games hurt his recruitment of black players. The school finally dumped its mascot "Johnny Reb" in 2003. Some school faithful are still in mourning. Just like they will be when this season is over.
If you're looking for sure money, don't fly to Vegas. Bet against the Ole Miss Rebels. It's been the surest thing in college football for the past 45 years.
