S
SEC Sports
Casagrande: Auburn football is the train wreck we canāt stop watching
Auburn's the mess that's far too interesting to ignore.
This is an opinion column.
One could call Auburn football so many things.
A mess? Check.
Disappointing. You bet.
Just donāt call this Tiger team boring because this group of showmen bring it every week.
Saturday was its masterclass in malfunction -- chaos of cinematic proportions in all three phases as seen in the 24-14 stain left on the Jordan-Hare Stadium turf. Another sellout crowd was treated to a little bit of everything when Arkansas arrived for what promised to be an informative meeting of SEC non-contenders.
They saw two quarterbacks.
The 88,043 souls witnessed the hometown Tigers outgain the visiting Hogs, 431-334.
That included touchdown passes of 58 and 67 yards, respectively.
Cool.
The rest of it had about as much rhythm as a student section swag surf. So, none.
Keeping the all-or-nothing/score-or-swear theme, Auburn didnāt keep it PG.
Five turnovers.
That included a fumble lost on the doorstep of the end zone. The rest were interceptions from the two quarterbacks.
A failed fake punt, which effectively served as an honorary sixth turnover.
Did I mention two quarterbacks?
Just donāt call them dull, because no 2-2 team is this interesting in the most disconcerting ways.
The whole thing just feels like itās held together with duct tape and IOUs because you can only use the recruiting-rankings hidden ball trick so many times.
Add it up and the loyal but rhythmically challenged Jordan-Hare regulars became a feast for the meme lords Saturday evening. The despondent among them were picked off one by one by the benefactors from ESPN who know entertainment when they see it.
And weāre all just rubbernecking at this point.
Because every Saturday in Auburn is a hell-bent sprint through a corn maze that ends at the scene of a crime more often than not.
Seven of the 13 Auburn drives ended in a turnover or 3-and-out (eight if you count the failed fake punt). That doesnāt include the poor decision to shove Arkansas QB Taylen Green out of bounds on a third-down throw-away on the Razorbacksā second drive. That 15-yard gift jumpstarted what ended in a 15-play, 81-yard touchdown slog that took 7:05 off the clock.
This wasnāt on the defense, though.
The Hugh Freeze offense is the star of this tragedy.
Redshirt freshman Hank Brown got three interceptions before Payton Thorne got his crown back after halftime.
Dra ā¦ ma.
Freeze after the game said it was āsickening that we canāt take care of the football on offenseā with a few $5 words sprinkled in.
In one breath, he took the blame then listed all the ways redshirt freshman QB Brown screwed up in the next.
āHe did not play well in the first half,ā Freeze said. āHe missed open guys and obviously threw the ball into coverage. Then weāre in the red zone again, he double clutches and kind of floats it over the middle. So obviously, weāre not doing a very good job of coaching quarterbacks.ā
So true.
But even one of the players behind one of Freezeās landmark Ole Miss victories isnāt buying the schtick anymore. In response to Freeze saying Auburn needs to āfind a guy that wonāt throw the ball to the other team,ā and āyouāve got to have a good quarterback in whatever system you have,ā former Ole Miss QB Bo Wallace added his name to the credits in this Auburn tragedy.
On social media, he ripped his former coach for throwing his quarterbacks under the bus after losses while taking all the credit after wins. Of all the people to come for Freeze, one of the two QBs he coached in those golden wins over Nick Saban and Alabama wouldnāt be your first bet.
Add that to the evidence pile pointing toward the dysfunction of a program Freeze was hired to save.
Year 2, however, is showing signs of regression rather than progress.
Theyāre a hot mess and we canāt look away.
