There is not a single aspect of these teams that I would trade for this game. Not one postion, not one player. Not Coaches or assistants. Not Uniforms, Cheerleaders, Fight Songs, Marching Bands, Pre-Game Introduction videos, Mascots, Fan Bases, Campuses, tradtitions, Rankings, Heisman Trophy candidates, Defenses, Offenses, or Special Teams. Not Play-by-play announces, equipment trucks, Strength and Conditoning programs, or bowl records.
In a game of Red Rover, I'd call out "Red Rover, Red Rover I'll keep what I'ver got, and WE'LL be over in a second to kick some tail."