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imported_RollTideRandy
The Resident College Football Expert Week 5 ā Rant On!
The Resident College Football Expert isnāt going to talk about week four of the college football season this week. He wants to talk āBama Boās Player of the Week.ā Your Expert doesnāt read āBama Boās Player of the Weekā but this week the article was brought to him by a mother. Three-fourths of it is inaccurate, itās fiction. Obviously, whoever writes that article doesnāt have an intern and has never had an intern! Your Expert hopes though, that one day, the writer of that article has an intern and someone calls him fat or a Lou Holtz lover! Hereās all that intern did, he wrote an article. Heās not a professional writer and he doesnāt deserve to be kicked when heās down. You want to come after somebody, come after your Expert, heās a MAN, heās 40 (or 32, whatever), but donāt pick on the intern. You wanna say heās a Corso wannabe or a Lou Holtz lover? THAT AINāT TRUE! That article was garbage and the admin that let it be posted is garbage! You people are supposed to be mature adults here and theyāre not, whoās the intern here? Are you kidding your Expert? Thatās all heās got to say, makes him want to PUKE!
OK, so that was really your Expertās recap of the Mike Gundy rant from last week. He really has no problem with anyone picking on his intern, because quite frankly, some of his picks were downright embarrassing. North Texas? New Mexico State? Your Expert will give you his 100% guarantee that this week, weāll be back to first rate, top notch, take it to the bank picks this week! Your Expertās hat is off though to Mr. Gundy, that was quite a PR move for him. Did anyone even know who the head coach of Oklahoma State was before that rant? Now we all know who he is.
The other major notable occurrence from last week was the Cuse upset of Louisville. After the painful experience of watching the Cuse fall short in their upset bid against Iowa last year, it was nice to see them close this one out. It almost, almost got their coach removed from the Expertās idiot coach list. Then he remembered that they lost to Zooky just one week ago and he decided their coach needed to stay put. Kragthorpe may be added to the list soon though to keep him company. And what about those loyal Louisville fans leaving with their team down by 17 with ten minutes left? Your Expert hasnāt seen a stadium that empty since last yearās Barn-LA Monroe game.
Other than that, Notre Dumb still stinks (yeah), North Texas blew another lead (yeah), and Kentucky made another big comeback. Yep, this exciting season just continues to roll on. Letās take a look at week five!
Friday Night Special ā West Virginia vs. South Florida
South Florida is still undefeated after blowing out North Carolina, but do they have what it takes to knock off top five West Virginia? Donāt think so. The Mountaineers have had this game circled since the Bulls pulled the upset last year and South Floridaās defense was less than stellar against the Barnās running game. Now they face the best rushing attack in the NCAA? That wonāt end well for them. West Virginia 34 South Florida 17
The Barn vs. Florida
The GayTurds usually have one off game a year. Usually itās against a Mississippi team and thus we had the nail biter last week against Ole Missy. Good thing they got that out of their system, now they are ready to BLOW OUT the hapless barners. FLA 44 The Barn 9
Notre Dumb vs PurWho?
It just keeps getting worse for the Dumb. Itās just one Big 11 woopin after another for them in the early part of this season. This week they get PurWho? and their red hot quarterback Curtis Painter. Thatās the bad thing about being the media darling for the last seventy years. No one will take you lightly even when you are having a down year and the beatings just keep coming. PurWho? 56 Notre Dumb 21
Bama vs FSU
After last weekās tough loss, the CrimiNoles may be just what the doctor ordered for the Crimson Tide. Bamaās beleaguered run defense needs an opponent whose rushing attack is weaker than Phat Philās disciplinary action against arrested players. FSU will have to go to the air and with about nine receivers over eight feet tall, you may think thatās a good thing. Thing is though, they all have hands of stone and a QB who likes throwing the ball ten yards out of bounds. Bama 31 FSU 13
Miss St vs South Carolina
Mississippi State proved something to all of us in week one, if you have a stout defense, they will turn the ball over and give you easy chances to score. Know who has a stout defense this year? South Carolina. Your Expert is pretty shocked that both these teams only have one loss at this point in the season, but at least Miss State will get number two this week. South Carolina 27 Miss St 14
Old Missy vs UGA
Old Missyās game against the GayTurds last week was an aberration, an illusion of how good this team is, if you will. How good are they really? Not very. They proved they can stop the pass, but UGAās rushing attack has a lot more fire power than what the Rebels can stop. UGA 35 Old Missy 17
North Texas Hating Pick of the Week: North Texas vs. Arkansas
After a couple of heartbreaking losses in which the Piggies got their hot rod (Darren McFadden) banged up, they should get to rest him the next couple of weeks against North Texas and Chattanooga. He should be ready to go again just in time for the Barn. North Texas on the other hand lost to the two worst teams on their schedule the last couple of weeks (because Notre Dumb isnāt on their schedule), they donāt stand a chance against the Razorbacks. Ark 50 North Texas 3
Upset of the week #1: Michigan State vs Wisconsin
The Badgers had a great season last year but have been flirting with disaster each of the last three weeks. This week they are primed for the upset when the undefeated Spartans come to town. Michigan State will jump out early and then cruise on to victory. Mich St 37 Wisconsin 23
Upset of the Week #2: Cal vs. Oregon
Your Expert has said it each and every week this year, do you believe it yet? Dennis Dixon is the MOST exciting player in college football. Reminds your Expert a lot of Michael Vick (before the dog fighting) and Vince Young. Teams with players of that caliber usually win lots of football games and Oregon will win this one with Cal this week. Oregon 38 Cal 27
Upset of the Week #3: Clemson vs. Ga Tech
This upset be so just because thatās how crazy the ACC is every year since Diddy Bowden went senile and forgot how to win football games. Every time you think you know who the teams to beat in ACC are, they up and blow a game against a lesser opponent. This week itās Clemsonās turn to fail miserable. Boston College is sure to blow a couple down the stretch too! Ga Tech 21 Clemson 18
Upset of the Week #4: Florida Atlantic vs. Kentucky
Why? Because they are Kentucky and their fans should never be this excited about football, thatās why. Not to mention that Florida Atlantic aināt half bad this year. Their Captain Kangaroo look-a-like of a coach (Howard Smellingburger) is building quite a program and he needs a marquee win against a top 20 team. Plus, he catches the Wildcats at the perfect time following to stunning come from behind wins and with the Cats looking ahead to South Carolina. Itās upset time for the Owls. Florida Atlantic 27 Kentucky 24
The Resident College Football Expert isnāt going to talk about week four of the college football season this week. He wants to talk āBama Boās Player of the Week.ā Your Expert doesnāt read āBama Boās Player of the Weekā but this week the article was brought to him by a mother. Three-fourths of it is inaccurate, itās fiction. Obviously, whoever writes that article doesnāt have an intern and has never had an intern! Your Expert hopes though, that one day, the writer of that article has an intern and someone calls him fat or a Lou Holtz lover! Hereās all that intern did, he wrote an article. Heās not a professional writer and he doesnāt deserve to be kicked when heās down. You want to come after somebody, come after your Expert, heās a MAN, heās 40 (or 32, whatever), but donāt pick on the intern. You wanna say heās a Corso wannabe or a Lou Holtz lover? THAT AINāT TRUE! That article was garbage and the admin that let it be posted is garbage! You people are supposed to be mature adults here and theyāre not, whoās the intern here? Are you kidding your Expert? Thatās all heās got to say, makes him want to PUKE!
OK, so that was really your Expertās recap of the Mike Gundy rant from last week. He really has no problem with anyone picking on his intern, because quite frankly, some of his picks were downright embarrassing. North Texas? New Mexico State? Your Expert will give you his 100% guarantee that this week, weāll be back to first rate, top notch, take it to the bank picks this week! Your Expertās hat is off though to Mr. Gundy, that was quite a PR move for him. Did anyone even know who the head coach of Oklahoma State was before that rant? Now we all know who he is.
The other major notable occurrence from last week was the Cuse upset of Louisville. After the painful experience of watching the Cuse fall short in their upset bid against Iowa last year, it was nice to see them close this one out. It almost, almost got their coach removed from the Expertās idiot coach list. Then he remembered that they lost to Zooky just one week ago and he decided their coach needed to stay put. Kragthorpe may be added to the list soon though to keep him company. And what about those loyal Louisville fans leaving with their team down by 17 with ten minutes left? Your Expert hasnāt seen a stadium that empty since last yearās Barn-LA Monroe game.
Other than that, Notre Dumb still stinks (yeah), North Texas blew another lead (yeah), and Kentucky made another big comeback. Yep, this exciting season just continues to roll on. Letās take a look at week five!
Friday Night Special ā West Virginia vs. South Florida
South Florida is still undefeated after blowing out North Carolina, but do they have what it takes to knock off top five West Virginia? Donāt think so. The Mountaineers have had this game circled since the Bulls pulled the upset last year and South Floridaās defense was less than stellar against the Barnās running game. Now they face the best rushing attack in the NCAA? That wonāt end well for them. West Virginia 34 South Florida 17
The Barn vs. Florida
The GayTurds usually have one off game a year. Usually itās against a Mississippi team and thus we had the nail biter last week against Ole Missy. Good thing they got that out of their system, now they are ready to BLOW OUT the hapless barners. FLA 44 The Barn 9
Notre Dumb vs PurWho?
It just keeps getting worse for the Dumb. Itās just one Big 11 woopin after another for them in the early part of this season. This week they get PurWho? and their red hot quarterback Curtis Painter. Thatās the bad thing about being the media darling for the last seventy years. No one will take you lightly even when you are having a down year and the beatings just keep coming. PurWho? 56 Notre Dumb 21
Bama vs FSU
After last weekās tough loss, the CrimiNoles may be just what the doctor ordered for the Crimson Tide. Bamaās beleaguered run defense needs an opponent whose rushing attack is weaker than Phat Philās disciplinary action against arrested players. FSU will have to go to the air and with about nine receivers over eight feet tall, you may think thatās a good thing. Thing is though, they all have hands of stone and a QB who likes throwing the ball ten yards out of bounds. Bama 31 FSU 13
Miss St vs South Carolina
Mississippi State proved something to all of us in week one, if you have a stout defense, they will turn the ball over and give you easy chances to score. Know who has a stout defense this year? South Carolina. Your Expert is pretty shocked that both these teams only have one loss at this point in the season, but at least Miss State will get number two this week. South Carolina 27 Miss St 14
Old Missy vs UGA
Old Missyās game against the GayTurds last week was an aberration, an illusion of how good this team is, if you will. How good are they really? Not very. They proved they can stop the pass, but UGAās rushing attack has a lot more fire power than what the Rebels can stop. UGA 35 Old Missy 17
North Texas Hating Pick of the Week: North Texas vs. Arkansas
After a couple of heartbreaking losses in which the Piggies got their hot rod (Darren McFadden) banged up, they should get to rest him the next couple of weeks against North Texas and Chattanooga. He should be ready to go again just in time for the Barn. North Texas on the other hand lost to the two worst teams on their schedule the last couple of weeks (because Notre Dumb isnāt on their schedule), they donāt stand a chance against the Razorbacks. Ark 50 North Texas 3
Upset of the week #1: Michigan State vs Wisconsin
The Badgers had a great season last year but have been flirting with disaster each of the last three weeks. This week they are primed for the upset when the undefeated Spartans come to town. Michigan State will jump out early and then cruise on to victory. Mich St 37 Wisconsin 23
Upset of the Week #2: Cal vs. Oregon
Your Expert has said it each and every week this year, do you believe it yet? Dennis Dixon is the MOST exciting player in college football. Reminds your Expert a lot of Michael Vick (before the dog fighting) and Vince Young. Teams with players of that caliber usually win lots of football games and Oregon will win this one with Cal this week. Oregon 38 Cal 27
Upset of the Week #3: Clemson vs. Ga Tech
This upset be so just because thatās how crazy the ACC is every year since Diddy Bowden went senile and forgot how to win football games. Every time you think you know who the teams to beat in ACC are, they up and blow a game against a lesser opponent. This week itās Clemsonās turn to fail miserable. Boston College is sure to blow a couple down the stretch too! Ga Tech 21 Clemson 18
Upset of the Week #4: Florida Atlantic vs. Kentucky
Why? Because they are Kentucky and their fans should never be this excited about football, thatās why. Not to mention that Florida Atlantic aināt half bad this year. Their Captain Kangaroo look-a-like of a coach (Howard Smellingburger) is building quite a program and he needs a marquee win against a top 20 team. Plus, he catches the Wildcats at the perfect time following to stunning come from behind wins and with the Cats looking ahead to South Carolina. Itās upset time for the Owls. Florida Atlantic 27 Kentucky 24
