🏈 As promised... two weeks before the Mountain Oyster-omelette special - The post...

[Big_Fan]

I know we have WKU this week...but I don't have much time to get online these days, so I am giving the annual post a 2 week run this time.

It is time.

Time for the pork bellied porkers of Fayettenam to tailspin into insanity mode.

I rarely post on internet forums these days, but next week is special. Next week, the Crimson Tide makes their biannual trek to where the red and white clad Ozark Mountain pig people make their pilgrimage out of the woods. Next week we go to battle against Arkansas.

They are an amazing people, with logic that befuddles the comprehension of most. This is THE POST of the Bama/Arkansas game, and the progression of Arkansas Razorpig logic from Sunday until Gameday! This is an accurate representation of what happens EVERY year, and has for the past 20+ seasons...other than the internet.

Sunday: Wake up earlier than intended feeling less than Hawgish...don't feel like bacon. Head hurts from the combination of too much barbecue and Pabst. How the hell did Punxsutawney State score 28 points against our defense? Did that really happen? They outgained us. We only scored 38 and they gave up 43 to Arkansas Little Rock - and only scored 19....Alabama is going to skull-drag monkey stomp us this year. I need an alkaseltzer...and a beer. Twice. At the same time. I wonder if I chew the Alkaseltzer and chase it with beer if it will work better... I don't think I will log onto the internets today...if I do, I will just "lurk" on Bama message boards...but I will create a creative name...Hawgalicious.... I don't want to eat any crow....Hmmm....those Bama fans think they have a good team...understandable. They did beat that somewhat overrated Michigan team pretty good...

Monday: Wake up feeling pig-ish...hangover almost gone....Eat Bacon for breakfast. Man that was tough going Saturday, but Punxsutawney is a good team....after all, their loss to Clemson wasn't that bad...Clemson beat Auburn! Still, we gave up almost 400 yards passing to Punxsutawney. There is a chance we might lose against Bama. A good chance...I think I will have a beer, get on the Bama message boards and talk to some fans...nicely....think I will register a new name....Hawgladyte... We are 2-0, and our opponents have a combined record so far of 0-4....but Its not like Bama has done anything significant this year either. Beating Michigan in Dallas is a decent win I guess....but Bama is a littlle bit overrated, at least on defense this year - they lost too much...and their fans think they are better than they are. They might skull drag us, but probably not.

Tuesday: Wake up feeling refreshed and Hawgadelic. Eat Bacon for breakfast, ham sandwich for lunch...It is good to be a Hawg!!!! We have such a GREAT coach and team this year that I cannot wait to see what happens this Saturday. Our QB is so awesome. our defense is much improved....Alabama doesn't improve. We almost beat them last year if not for the officiating and poor clock management... hell, Petrino was overrated and couldn't figure out Saban... this year might just be our year! Yes! I don't care that Alabama has 9 starters back off of an offense that averaged 40 points per game. We have the #1 offense in the SEC and maybe the country! We scored 49 points on Jacksonville State - and JSU is one of the favorites to win the OVC! Bama only scored 41 on Michigan, and Michigan's offense isn't as diverse as Jacksonville States. Yep....Bama is terribly overrated and gonna have their hands full in this one. Sooie! I think I will go talk a little smack on their message boards under a creative username like Hawgendaaz or maybe CornHawglio! I NEED BP for my Olio!! I really believe we can win this! (Get offended by something a Bama fan says and invite a few Hog friends over to explain how he is wrong). Yep, I am definitely favoring Arkansas!

Wednesday: Wake up feeling like a Hog on steroids! Bacon for breakfast, Ham Sandwich for Lunch, BBQ for dinner. Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!! Being a hog is the greatest thing in the world! All other team's and fans only WISH they were Hog Level. Talked to a bama fan last night...I don't think he really believes they will win, he is trying to convince himself...after all, Arkansas has the best offense in college football, and our defense is a brick wall...I mean hey...we held Louisifreakinanna Monroe to just 300 yards of offense! That is a defense right there buddy...That Bama team gave up almost 270 to Michigan! Their offense only scored 41! Talk about teh suck! Well, their offense sucks and their defense is a bit overrated! We will win this game...will be tough, but we win it.Saban better be ready to lose because Pope John L. Smith is coming and hell is coming with him! The L stands for You gonna Lose! Dang trailer trash bama fans actually think they have a chance....pffft. Sooooiiieeeee pig! Were's my !@#$ internets! I gotta learn those bama fans a thing or two. I am Hawglips_Hoolihan! Stupid Bama fan wants to say it is the same song different year, but he is wrong...I will invite a bunch of my Piggish friends over to tell him! Arkansas is going to dominate! Bama fans - get used to it. Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!

Thursday: Wake up feeling like a hog on magic mushrooms: eat bacon, ham, and bbq for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Gawd!!!!!! HAWG!!!!! BWAHAHAHAH! Bama gonna get it!!!! Bama is overrated on offense, defense, special teams, coaching, equipment manager, lawn service... everything! This isn't like when Petrino was here - JL Smith knows Nick's secrets! Saban is John L's !@#$ and this year we are going to win handily in Fayettenam! Gimme my keyboard and mouse! I gotta log into the Bama message boards and tell them all about how they suck and hawgs are the greatest!!! They already know that they suck and Arkansas is the greatest - I am sure (it is common knowledge after all), but I still must convince them! Silly bama fans thinking they have a chance lol!!!! The world will listen to someone with a name like HawgtimusPrime or TheHawgnerGames! And YOU SUCK, BAMA! JSU would DEMOLISH OVERRATED MICHIGAN. LA Monroe is from the freakin Sunbelt...and they will own WKU. Arkansas is going to skull drag Alabama!!! Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!

Friday: Wake up feeling like the divine pork that I am! Eat all things great and porkiful for all meals, because I can. And you cant. Because you suck. Because you are not a hog fan, and only hog fans do not suck. Ask me now and lose to me later, you will lose to hogs you silly Bama boys. All your team is overrated, your coaches suck, and John L FREAKIN' RAZORPIG SMITH will dominate! Every team we played so far would dominate every team you have played so far. Your offense, defense, special teams, coaching, fans, stadium, and breakfast cereal are not as good as Arkansas!!!!!! You don't even need to show your mangy piece of crap team the way to the stadium! LOSERS! Who says so? HawgtiedTide says so dangit! Arkansas is gonna skull drag monkey stomp Bama. Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!! ALL YOUR TEAM ARE BELONG TO HAWGS!

Saturday get up in state of Zen Hoggishness. Read Bama bords and laugh them off...silly bama fans. It is time for us to own you. BOW DOWN TO ME AND MY HAWGLADYTE GLORY!!!!
Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!Sooooieeee PIG SOOIEEE!!!

Sunday: Wake up with a hangover. Wha happen? How did we lose to Bama again? I thought Richardson graduated..who the heck is Yeldon? Lacey? Jalston Fowler...I don't think he was human...when did they start letting motor vehicles work as ball carriers? After yesterday they may have to repave hwy 44 to Memphis with the way they was a running...man it was bad. Poor Tyler Wilson... I wonder if he can regenerate like Doctor Who? I sure hope so....(blargh) Was that my lung?

Well, no worries...I didn't say or do anything to make a fool out of myself....but we suck...but Alabama sucks too.... and Bama is still overrated.

 

[TerryP]

Tuesday: Wake up feeling refreshed and Hawgadelic. Eat Bacon for breakfast, ham sandwich for lunch...It is good to be a Hawg!!!! We have such a GREAT coach and team this year that I cannot wait to see what happens this Saturday. Our QB is so awesome. our defense is much improved....Alabama doesn't improve. We almost beat them last year if not for the officiating and poor clock management... hell, Petrino was overrated and couldn't figure out Saban... this year might just be our year! Yes! I don't care that Alabama has 9 starters back off of an offense that averaged 40 points per game. We have the #1 offense in the SEC and maybe the country! We scored 49 points on Jacksonville State - and JSU is one of the favorites to win the OVC! Bama only scored 41 on Michigan, and Michigan's offense isn't as diverse as Jacksonville States. Yep....Bama is terribly overrated and gonna have their hands full in this one. Sooie! I think I will go talk a little smack on their message boards under a creative username like Hawgendaaz or maybe CornHawglio! I NEED BP for my Olio!! I really believe we can win this! (Get offended by something a Bama fan says and invite a few Hog friends over to explain how he is wrong). Yep, I am definitely favoring Arkansas!

I don't think we'll see a lot of this.

They still have a good majority questioning whether JL Smith is up for the job. They'll say he's a great person, and I'd agree with that assessment.

Petrino overrated? We won't see that: from hardly anyone.

Couldn't figure Saban out? We will see that: from everyone.

I fully expect their team and fan base to be up for this game. Petrino's dismissal was a cold shower. Saturday night was something they couldn't ignore.

Now, perhaps the message forum I frequent is different from the one you do? More often than not they say "we aren't where we want to be UNTIL we beat Bama."

So far, the only thing I've seen that left me wondering are comments about playing a "Vanilla D" holding back for Bama.

 

[Swamptick]

I loved the "All your Base are belong to Hawgs". I dont know if anyone else will get it, but it's funny as hell.

 

[Big_Fan]

I don't think we'll see a lot of this.

They still have a good majority questioning whether JL Smith is up for the job. They'll say he's a great person, and I'd agree with that assessment.

Petrino overrated? We won't see that: from hardly anyone.

Couldn't figure Saban out? We will see that: from everyone.

I fully expect their team and fan base to be up for this game. Petrino's dismissal was a cold shower. Saturday night was something they couldn't ignore.

Now, perhaps the message forum I frequent is different from the one you do? More often than not they say "we aren't where we want to be UNTIL we beat Bama."

So far, the only thing I've seen that left me wondering are comments about playing a "Vanilla D" holding back for Bama.

Terry, I will admit that as the years and losses to Bama pile up, they are becoming more realistic.

That said, the forum you frequent currently has a thread titled "Realistic Bama Predictions"

In that thread, there are several hogs already predicting the upset. Across that board there are comments like:

"Arkansas - I'm thinking we game planned for JSU in the coaches' spare time while focusing on... Alabama... Our first REAL game. Plus give credit where it's due...Jack Crowe is still a heckuvan offensive coach. "

and

"Michigan couldn't stay on the field with Arkansas either. They are slow and don't have near the skill position talent. Waaaay to much emphasis being placed on the fact Bama ran roughshod over a name only."


It is only Monday following the Saturday beatdown of Michigan - and the Saturday ho-hum performance against an FCS school. I watched my Gamecocks play at Arkansas on ESPN3, and they did a pretty good job moving the ball against the pigs. JSU has a VERY young defense, and I knew that was going to be a problem. Still, the hogs fumbled 3 times and JSU capitalized.

Give it time... by next week midweek, it will be just as I said. We will be overrated, Michigan will be overrated, and their win over JSU will have been a quality win. It happens every year. I listened to it first-hand from my friends and family in NWA - back in the pre-internet days.

Past performance is a pretty good indicator of future results. There may be one or two hogs with sentience, but most of them will be slobbering all over the place and declaring that we are arrogant and ignorant for believing that the Crimson Tide will beat Arkansas.

...and I will disagree with you about the match-up this season. I think we hammer them. Badly. Maybe a repeat of the 49-14 prediction circa 2008 badly. Their defense is incapable of defending the run and the pass at the same time. They can sell out for one or the other... we will hit a lot of big plays on them - on the ground and in the air. I don't think their OL will be able to protect Wilson. He probably won't make it out of the first half against us.

 

[rammerjammer]

Big_Fan, I love your prediction, and hope it comes true.

Are you sure your disdain and having to live in such close proximity to all the Hawgs isn't biasing your opinion on your prediction?

 

[Big_Fan]

Big_Fan, I love your prediction, and hope it comes true.

Are you sure your disdain and having to live in such close proximity to all the Hawgs isn't biasing your opinion on your prediction?

I started railing on Arkansas when I lived in Mississippi.

I made the 49-14 post and began my annual Arkansas week post when we lived in Kentucky.

I live in Taipei Taiwan now.

Hogs...still can't stand 'em. Halfway around the world from them isn't far enough. Maybe they can leave the SEC and join the Saturn Football league or something... move to IO or Europa.
Maybe someone will put a hog hat on a monolith and they will follow it to the stars.

 

[Big_Fan]

A new one... from the mouths of piggies...

"Meeshegan was overrated and we played a very good JVS team..I think they woulda have beaten South Carolina,Ole Miss,Kentucky and maybe even Florida and Georgia Yesterday.....Next week maybe not. No worries we are a good team and I think we still beat Bama."

 

[Rolling Tide]

I cant bellieve this has fallen to page 5 already.

 

[BamaFan615]

BigFan - I look forward to this post every year. It's freakin' hilarious, and I'll tell you why.

I live in Nashville, where there's not many Arkansas fans around, but I work with one who sounds EXACTLY like this post. Year in and year out he acts like this. The first year I thought he was joking, but he kept saying these sort of things to me with a straight face.

I can't say that there are Arkansas fans by the thousands out there that act like this....but, I sure as hell know one. And he's the only one I know!