I was down at Wally World the other day to pick up a bag of dog food. I picked out a forty pound bag of the usual brand, hoisted it onto my shoulder and went to stand in the check out line.
After a minute or so a woman got in line behind me and started a conversation.
"Do you have a dog?" she asked.
I started to answer yes, but that perverse side of my nature took over. "No," I said. "I am going back on the dog food diet."
"I've never heard of that. Tell me about it."
"It's really simple. You just load your pockets with kibble, and when you get the munchies, you just reach in your pocket and grab a few for a snack. The last time I was on this diet I lost 20 pounds."
"That's amazing. Did you have any side effects?"
"The last time I was on this diet I ended up in the hospital with tubes coming out of every part of my body."
"My gosh. be careful. There must be some terrible side effects."
"Actually, I saw a really hot looking golden retriever and went to sniff her and didn't see the truck."
At this point she started screaming and hitting me with her purse. I on the other hand could do nothing but lie in the floor laughing hysterically. The store manager came over to see what the commotion was about and finally got her calmed down. Then he told me that from now own I should get my dog food somewhere else.
After a minute or so a woman got in line behind me and started a conversation.
"Do you have a dog?" she asked.
I started to answer yes, but that perverse side of my nature took over. "No," I said. "I am going back on the dog food diet."
"I've never heard of that. Tell me about it."
"It's really simple. You just load your pockets with kibble, and when you get the munchies, you just reach in your pocket and grab a few for a snack. The last time I was on this diet I lost 20 pounds."
"That's amazing. Did you have any side effects?"
"The last time I was on this diet I ended up in the hospital with tubes coming out of every part of my body."
"My gosh. be careful. There must be some terrible side effects."
"Actually, I saw a really hot looking golden retriever and went to sniff her and didn't see the truck."
At this point she started screaming and hitting me with her purse. I on the other hand could do nothing but lie in the floor laughing hysterically. The store manager came over to see what the commotion was about and finally got her calmed down. Then he told me that from now own I should get my dog food somewhere else.
