While you're having a little fun, there's some truth here.
If you guys have been around Auburn's campus, and compared student housing to that of UA's, it doesn't take a realtors license or being certified as an appraiser to see the differences. Yet, Auburn calculates its housing to be $1200 more than Alabama's. They claim a $2000 dollar difference in what it takes to eat at Auburn versus Alabama. There's another $2000 difference in "other expenses."
You can get a little deeper into these numbers at
collegefactual.com. (You'll probably need to jump to an incognito window to avoid registration.)
As a cursory example (in-state):
The University of Alabama offers students both housing and dining options. The on-campus housing cost for a typical student was $5,600 in 2014 - 2015 and the cost for a typical meal plan was $3,266.
Versus
Auburn University offers students both housing and dining options. The on-campus housing cost for a typical student was $6,892 in 2014 - 2015 and the cost for a typical meal plan was $5,286.
In the COA numbers cited above there's roughly $2700 difference between UA and AU.
Using the numbers above, there's a $3200 dollar difference between the two schools when it comes to room and board. Bama is more expensive when it comes to instate tuition to the tune of about $1300 .
As you can see, travel expenses do come into play. However, it's not the primary difference between the two schools COA.
The elephant in the room, in my opinion, is how the cost of living is seemingly ignored. The last time I looked if you made 100K in Tuscaloosa and took the same job in Auburn, you'd be paid a little over 115K.
Over a 15% difference with Tuscaloosa being more expensive BUT ...