STITCHES

[rueben]

I went to the bar the other night and this fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said,
"You're kind of cute, you gotta a phone number?"
I said, “Yea, you gotta pen?"
She said "Yea", I got a pen".
I said, "Well, you better get back in it before the farmer misses you".
Cost me 6 stitches.

 

[Gideon Swashbuckler]

I was giving the business to a fat chick the other day and I asked her if we could turn out the light and she asked, "Why? Is it too bright?"
To which I replied, "Naw, it's burning my ass."

Cost me 7 stitches.

 

[2Stater]

A fat girl was sitting on a bar stool. I said "Nice legs". She said "You really think so?". I said "Hell yeah, most bar stools would have collapse under that much weight."

Cost me 8 stitches.

 

[2Stater]

I was giving the business to a fat chick the other day and I asked her if we could turn out the light and she asked, "Why? Is it too bright?"
To which I replied, "Naw, it's burning my ass."

Cost me 7 stitches.

That one took me a minute.

 

[Snout Spout]

That one took me a minute.

Yeah, I don't get it.

 

[Sgt. Lincoln Osiris]

Yeah, I don't get it.

She's so fat that when climbing up on her, he was close enough to the light that it burned his ass.

________________________________
Team Cornwell


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[Gideon Swashbuckler]

She's so fat that when climbing up on her, he was close enough to the light that it burned his ass.

________________________________
Team Cornwell


-Sent via Tapatalk for Android

Ding Ding Ding!

 

[Snout Spout]

She's so fat that when climbing up on her, he was close enough to the light that it burned his ass.

________________________________
Team Cornwell


-Sent via Tapatalk for Android

Hm, ok. I guess I didn't get it because it doesn't make sense. If they're having sex, he wouldn't be on top of her in a way that her being fat would do that. I can't think of a normal sexual position where a guy "climbs on top." When the guy is "on top," he's really just at her crotch. Her having a giant belly wouldn't affect that. Same goes if he was behind her.

 

[Sgt. Lincoln Osiris]

Hm, ok. I guess I didn't get it because it doesn't make sense. If they're having sex, he wouldn't be on top of her in a way that her being fat would do that. I can't think of a normal sexual position where a guy "climbs on top." When the guy is "on top," he's really just at her crotch. Her having a giant belly wouldn't affect that. Same goes if he was behind her.

Quit engineering the damn joke.

It's funny as hell...lol

________________________________
Team Cornwell


-Sent via Tapatalk for Android

 

[Gideon Swashbuckler]

Hm, ok. I guess I didn't get it because it doesn't make sense. If they're having sex, he wouldn't be on top of her in a way that her being fat would do that. I can't think of a normal sexual position where a guy "climbs on top." When the guy is "on top," he's really just at her crotch. Her having a giant belly wouldn't affect that. Same goes if he was behind her.

I suggest you not visiting this thread. It will just bring you frustration.

 

[rueben]

True story . I was sitting in a local dive one night, and a chair collapsed while this big girl was sitting in it. The brt tender walked over to her, and the first words out of his mouth was, "ever considered salads?"

 

[Gideon Swashbuckler]

True story . I was sitting in a local dive one night, and a chair collapsed while this big girl was sitting in it. The brt tender walked over to her, and the first words out of his mouth was, "ever considered salads?"

Damn. That's mean. More funny than mean though.

 

[2Stater]

Hm, ok. I guess I didn't get it because it doesn't make sense. If they're having sex, he wouldn't be on top of her in a way that her being fat would do that. I can't think of a normal sexual position where a guy "climbs on top." When the guy is "on top," he's really just at her crotch. Her having a giant belly wouldn't affect that. Same goes if he was behind her.

You're over-thinking, Snout.

 

[Sid Youngleman]

Hm, ok. I guess I didn't get it because it doesn't make sense. If they're having sex, he wouldn't be on top of her in a way that her being fat would do that. I can't think of a normal sexual position where a guy "climbs on top." When the guy is "on top," he's really just at her crotch. Her having a giant belly wouldn't affect that. Same goes if he was behind her.

Why am I suddenly remembering the scene in Stand by Me where the kids are arguing over who would win in a fight between Superman and Mighty Mouse?

 

[rueben]

Damn. That's mean. More funny than mean though.

I was on the way down to help her out, and up, when he said that, I just stopped, turned around and back. They knew each other so she just called him an asshole and that was the end of it.

 

[Che Boludo]

Why am I suddenly remembering the scene in Stand by Me where the kids are arguing over who would win in a fight between Superman and Mighty Mouse?

Mighty mouse is a cartoon. No way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.

It would be a good fight though.

 

[Sid Youngleman]

Mighty mouse is a cartoon. No way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.

It would be a good fight though.

I admire a man prepared to flaunt his cultural literacy.

 

[Snout Spout]

Mighty mouse is a cartoon. No way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.

It would be a good fight though.

Never saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

 

[Sid Youngleman]

Never saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Che is more or less quoting the kids' conclusion on the subject from Stand by Me, not necessarily offering his personal opinion. The kids wouldn't have known about Roger Rabbit, and I have no idea as to Che's actual convictions regarding the Superman-Mighty Mouse conundrum.

 

[Che Boludo]

Che is more or less quoting the kids' conclusion on the subject from Stand by Me, not necessarily offering his personal opinion. The kids wouldn't have known about Roger Rabbit, and I have no idea as to Che's actual convictions regarding the Superman-Mighty Mouse conundrum.

Or, more succinctly....

Never seen Stand by Me?