Ohio State Still Undefeated after last week’s game
This is the transcript of the television broadcast of Ohio State’s latest game. Gary Danielson and Vern Lundquist had the call.
V: We welcome you to today’s game, a good one, The Ohio State University versus Toddle Town.
G: Vern, the naysayers can say what they want, Toddle Town is out for revenge. Urban Meyer, after last year’s game, commented that TT shouldn’t get their diapers in a wad, and that really got these guys going. Since, last season they’ve had this game circled on their little corkboard, activity schedule hanging in the nap room.
V: You’ve been watching film, tell us about little Jimmy.
G: Vern, to get a true sense of this little guy’s ability, you literally have to watch hours of film. I’ll admit lots of it involves him eating, chasing the dog, and even birthday footage, but once last week he threw four Leggos into a trash bin. IN A ROW. This kid’s got a cannon.
V: Toddle Town will have trouble stopping Barnett.
G: He’s not playing. Remember-
V: Right, he-
G: I think it’s worth noting. Unlike the Buckeyes, Toddle Town, their team members, almost to a player, are in bed, lights out, at EIGHT!
V: They’re serious.
G: They are at that.
V: The teams are coming on the field now. The Ohio State streams on, Urban out front, it’s a chilling sight. And, wait, I think here comes Toddle Town.
G: It takes them a little while, but- (Vern is chuckling) I know, that sounded bad, some of them get distracted and wander away. You have to admire the coaches. Oh look, Tiffany took a detour, and she has one of the officials’ flags.
V: She’s saying “Yellow” over and over. That is precious.
G: She knows her colors.
V: We’re ready for the kickoff, and The Ohio State has elected to kick. They pooch it short, and sure enough little Jimmy has the ball. He, he, he looks to be heading for the sideline.
G: His mom’s over there.
V: And, OH! My goodness. Is that targeting?
G: If not, it should be. That was a vicious hit.
V: They’re going to just carry him off the field. So, first play from scrimmage. Gary, they’re not going to get this play off.
G: They’ve struggled all year with the play clock, Vern.
V: Looks like they’re going to take timeout.
G: Wasted one. In the first quarter. Miss Lisa’s not going to be happy about that. And Vern, Urban Meyer is livid. He claims Toddle Town had too many players on the field.
V: That was a Teddy Bear someone dropped. You can see it on the replay, laying back there in the backfield.
G: That’s right. These Big 10 officials are good. Much better than the SEC guys. As Saban would say, it is what it is.
V: Okay, here we go. Back to live play. Was that the snap? Oh my goodness! The Buckeyes have the ball. They’re racing for the end zone. Toddle Town just spotted them a score.
G: I’ve said it since week one. This Ohio State team-
V: The Ohio State
G: Right Vern, they’ve improved every week. They looked shaky against Westlake Elementary, but-
V: Don’t forget, the Buckeys faced David Dilmyer in that game. He’s in sixth grade. He’s getting pretty tall.
G: That is true. The pollsters must have agreed. They’re clearly the best team in the nation.
After that first score, Toddle Town realized that snack time had arrived. None of the players would leave the cookie table, and sadly the game was forfeited. Compared to the remaining schedule, most experts agreed this might be the last close game for The Ohio State.
This is the transcript of the television broadcast of Ohio State’s latest game. Gary Danielson and Vern Lundquist had the call.
V: We welcome you to today’s game, a good one, The Ohio State University versus Toddle Town.
G: Vern, the naysayers can say what they want, Toddle Town is out for revenge. Urban Meyer, after last year’s game, commented that TT shouldn’t get their diapers in a wad, and that really got these guys going. Since, last season they’ve had this game circled on their little corkboard, activity schedule hanging in the nap room.
V: You’ve been watching film, tell us about little Jimmy.
G: Vern, to get a true sense of this little guy’s ability, you literally have to watch hours of film. I’ll admit lots of it involves him eating, chasing the dog, and even birthday footage, but once last week he threw four Leggos into a trash bin. IN A ROW. This kid’s got a cannon.
V: Toddle Town will have trouble stopping Barnett.
G: He’s not playing. Remember-
V: Right, he-
G: I think it’s worth noting. Unlike the Buckeyes, Toddle Town, their team members, almost to a player, are in bed, lights out, at EIGHT!
V: They’re serious.
G: They are at that.
V: The teams are coming on the field now. The Ohio State streams on, Urban out front, it’s a chilling sight. And, wait, I think here comes Toddle Town.
G: It takes them a little while, but- (Vern is chuckling) I know, that sounded bad, some of them get distracted and wander away. You have to admire the coaches. Oh look, Tiffany took a detour, and she has one of the officials’ flags.
V: She’s saying “Yellow” over and over. That is precious.
G: She knows her colors.
V: We’re ready for the kickoff, and The Ohio State has elected to kick. They pooch it short, and sure enough little Jimmy has the ball. He, he, he looks to be heading for the sideline.
G: His mom’s over there.
V: And, OH! My goodness. Is that targeting?
G: If not, it should be. That was a vicious hit.
V: They’re going to just carry him off the field. So, first play from scrimmage. Gary, they’re not going to get this play off.
G: They’ve struggled all year with the play clock, Vern.
V: Looks like they’re going to take timeout.
G: Wasted one. In the first quarter. Miss Lisa’s not going to be happy about that. And Vern, Urban Meyer is livid. He claims Toddle Town had too many players on the field.
V: That was a Teddy Bear someone dropped. You can see it on the replay, laying back there in the backfield.
G: That’s right. These Big 10 officials are good. Much better than the SEC guys. As Saban would say, it is what it is.
V: Okay, here we go. Back to live play. Was that the snap? Oh my goodness! The Buckeyes have the ball. They’re racing for the end zone. Toddle Town just spotted them a score.
G: I’ve said it since week one. This Ohio State team-
V: The Ohio State
G: Right Vern, they’ve improved every week. They looked shaky against Westlake Elementary, but-
V: Don’t forget, the Buckeys faced David Dilmyer in that game. He’s in sixth grade. He’s getting pretty tall.
G: That is true. The pollsters must have agreed. They’re clearly the best team in the nation.
After that first score, Toddle Town realized that snack time had arrived. None of the players would leave the cookie table, and sadly the game was forfeited. Compared to the remaining schedule, most experts agreed this might be the last close game for The Ohio State.
