🧑‍🤝‍🧑 / 🏡 Is Your Cat Actually Satan? 9 Things To Look For

[RTB X Bot]

If you're like most people, you're probably worried your cat is a spawn from hell. We consulted our Bibles and prayed really hard, and God revealed to us these hints that your cat is actually Satan himself. Here are the signs to look for:

• Weird slit snake eyes -- Alone this isn't a huge deal, but coupled with the other signs, it could be bad. Keep reading.
• Sharp hidden weapons in paws -- This is a telltale sign.
• Always lands on feet as if by witchcraft -- You should be worried.
• Vibrates with evil when touched -- Evil vibrations are a bad sign.
• Has pointed ears like devil horns -- Should be obvious, but keep an eye out for this one.
• Sudden outbursts of violence against small moving things -- Much as Satan seeks whom he may devour, cats pounce on laser dots and fingers.
• Says "Mao" a lot in honor of murderous dictator Chairman Mao. -- Uh-oh...
• Refuses to wear clothes -- Naked, just like all temptresses and Satan.
• Brings you small dead creatures as a blood sacrifice -- Alright, now it's time to start freaking out.

If your cat shows these signs of being the devil himself, the CDC recommends you secure your cat in a burlap sack and throw it in the nearest bog.

 

[Krimson]

Damn a cat.

 

[TerryP]

Damn a cat.

You suck at this. It always brings back a story.

I was living in Memphis..with the Mexican resturanteer, right?

She had a Siamese named Kato. As a present I bought her one that looked identical. It was. I named it Otak. (spelled backwards.)

Without getting into too much detail that joker would perch on doorways and attack. Loved it! More than once I saw him perched on the buffet (hutch top) and I asked someone "grab me a beer while your are up." Yeah, ya had to walk past it to get to the kitchen...

 

[Krimson]

You suck at this. It always brings back a story.

I was living in Memphis..with the Mexican resturanteer, right?

She had a Siamese named Kato. As a present I bought her one that looked identical. It was. I named it Otak. (spelled backwards.)

Without getting into too much detail that joker would perch on doorways and attack. Loved it! More than once I saw him perched on the buffet (hutch top) and I asked someone "grab me a beer while your are up." Yeah, ya had to walk past it to get to the kitchen...

I despise cats.