🏈 Heisman Trust President Responds to Winston Situation (Parody)

TheChief

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Heisman Trust President Responds to Winston Situation

In a rare September interview, Heisman Trust President William J. Dockery said this week that he and the rest of his committee really don’t care what Heisman Trophy contenders or winners do.

“We made it clear last December that it really doesn’t matter what candidates do,” Dockery said. “Winston had lots of baggage. We knew it. It didn’t matter. He had highlights.”

Dockery went on to say that other candidates set the precedent. “Look at Manziel. Yeah, he sort of gave us a black eye. But it was the other one. Cam Newton had already punched us in the face.”

Winston may indeed be a turd in the punchbowl, but Manziel was the punch bowl after being arrested with a fake id when investigated for a drunken fight. Dockery, adamant after critics thought Manziel might have been the last straw, added, “Look, his name has ‘football’ in it, okay. Let’s not take a holier than thou attitude about things. At the end of the day, we’re all self-serving egotists, you, me, even Joe the auto mechanic down the street.”

Dockery has left himself some wiggle room though. “We can always vacate the trophy like we did with Reggie Bush. That way he can still make millions, we can make millions, and everybody’s happy, at least for a few years.”

This year’s Heisman will be awarded in December, and in a recent poll ninety percent of college football fans will watch. Dockery is right. No one cares.
 
“We made it clear last December that it really doesn’t matter what candidates do,” Dockery said. “Winston had lots of baggage. We knew it. It didn’t matter. He had highlights.”

Then they need just get rid of the character clause they have conveniently claimed is a standard for choosing winners.
 
“We made it clear last December that it really doesn’t matter what candidates do,” Dockery said. “Winston had lots of baggage. We knew it. It didn’t matter. He had highlights.”

Well I for one will not be watching. I really don't care if another Bama player wins it either. By this statement he should give the Heisman back to Bush, because he didn't do anything either. To me the last three winners all put black eyes on the Heisman. Like bama alum said the character clause should be taken out. I guess Coach Heisman is turning in his grave right now.
 
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