🏈 Gump for Heisman: Alabama / Clemson Diaries....

[TerryP]

ADULT LANGUAGE WARNING

LINK

 

[EuroTide]

haha , this is awesome and im not even all the way through it

 

[BamaJay73]

Only problem is, I’m pinching a loaf right now. The coffee ran through me like Hussain Bolt at the Special Olympics.

In short, I need Corso to pick Tommy Bowden, so I can go drop a Terry.

LOL! :lol:

 

[BamaJay73]

More gold:

It’s halftime, and I’m 95% convinced Terrance Cody is the Rancor.

 

[imported_porkchop]

1:45 P.M. –

A bunch of people are crowded around watching the Virginia Tech game. I don’t watch Virginia Tech games.

The eternal score of a Virginia Tech game is 13-9.

Every game Virginia Tech has ever played in the history of their program has ended up 13-9. No matter what happens. Virginia Tech could score touchdowns on six straight drives, and the final score would still be 13-9.

Virginia Tech could be leading 56-0 after three quarters, and the final score would still be 13-9.


2:58 P.M. –

Just heard Virginia Tech lost to ******* East Carolina 27-22. Wow. ********. Herbie called that this morning, and I figured he had been hanging out on the ESPN set with Michael Irvin snorting oxycotin or something.

Hold on. Where’s a TV. Really? Yep, here comes the ticker.

‘East Carolina 13, Virginia Tech 9.’

I’ll be damned.


LOL!!! :lol: Masterful!

 

[JoshB]

lmao the whole thing was hilarious, but this just ended it perfectly...

"My brain is Tommy Bowden, and last night is “The Process.”

lmao

 

[bear facts]

3:41 p.m.

"Free yellowhammers at the Innisfree tent are a very bad thing.

Some girl just threw up her entire ’08 bodily intake. Hey lady, it’s a tailgate. We’re all supposed to bring something to the table. And you brought the tummy-slaw. Thanks for that.

P.S. Just because we’re all outdoors doesn’t mean you can go spillin’ guts all over the field. What is this, ‘Nam?

Go home. Your face is whiter than a team hockey bus. And your lips are paler than Courtney Love’s cleavage."

"Tummy slaw" and "whiter than a team hockey bus"

Classic! :lol:

 

[shipley00]

8:58 P.M. -

Wow. Is that Mark Barron? I didn't know black guys were inducted into the Spartan army. (“Weird SCI-ence, da da da! Da-da-da-da-da-da!”)

9:48 P.M. –

Terrance Cody just turned invisible, blended in with the Georgia dome, fixated his heat-vision on Cullen Harper, blew off Carl Weathers’ arms, and skinned the entire Clemson offensive line

.

The movie flashbacks are owning me! :lol:

 

[Guest]

Funny stuff. How do you make a Yellowhammer?

 

[Swamptick]

Great stuff as usual!

 

[bama4life]

8:45 P.M. –

Wow. It’s only 8:45 and Terrance Cody has already collapsed more pockets than the Great Depression.

:lol:

 

[Guest]

9:50 P.M. –

We need more beer. But I don’t want to miss the beatdown. Mmmm, beatdown.

(che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che) (che)

 

[Kevin4Bama]

7:30 P.M. –

We have seats on the 35-40 that are 10 rows up from our bench …

Being as we’re this close to the sidelines … WOW. Our team is f***ing huge. We don’t even look remotely like we did in 2006. Even players on the team then are much stronger, more cut, taller and like, better.

They look better at everything they did under Shula. They’re better at standing on the sidelines than they were under Shula. They’re better at walking on the field than they were under Shula. They’re better at breathing than they were under Shula. They’re better at being better than they were under Shula than they were under Shula.

:lol:

 

[Guest]

10:53 P.M. – 12:00 A.M. –

Drunken celebration, singing of Rammer Jammer, sloppy Men’s Room piss, chanting of “SEC! SEC! SEC!,” taunting of Clemson fans, anointing of Saban, spilling of bourbon, forgetting of probation, losing of voice, exiting of stadium, high-fiving of strangers, making of plans.

I had tears in my eyes I was rolling a funny read! Thank you for posting this I needed it today!

 

[TideFanInTN]

10:52 P.M. –

F**k it. I’m cheering for Clemson on this drive.

LOL :lol:

 

[BamaPride]

Funny stuff.