2) Undeservedly hating on college football TV announcers
"Did you hear that? Verne Lundquist is terrible. He just called Charles Scott 'Charles Lott.'"
OK, so Lundquist is old. So what? We all know what he meant. Is anyone actually getting confused out there? The same guy he just called 'Charles Scott' four consecutive times didn't all the sudden ILM-morph into Ronnie Lott's nephew.
So Brent Musberger can't remember your third-string platoon uber-red-shirt wideout's last name. So what? You forget **** all the time.
Remember that time you forgot your undershirt and sweated-thru at your cousin's wedding? Remember that time you forgot to remember that toothbrush you forgot? Remember that time you forgot to put some condoms in your back pocket in Miami and woke up the next Tuesday with a mushroom on your penis?
What, Lundquist didn't remember all the letters in somebody's name? Hell, you don't even remember all of last night. At one point, you slammed a tequila shot, poured salt on your tongue and licked a fat chick's arm while performing air guitar and swaying like Axl Rose.
OK, so you didn't do that. Not at all. But you could have. And you don't definitively remember that youdidn't do that. That's the real issue here.
Look, the SEC has 12 teams, each with 85-man rosters. For those of you keeping score at home, that's a pool of 1,020 strangers. And that's just one conference.
There are 119 Division 1 teams, making that 10,115 strangers. Dude-strangers, by the way. When you go out, you can't even remember one dude's name. Much less 10,115 dudes. Yea, you're better at remembering girls' names. Who with a cock and more balls than Lance Armstrong isn't?
We aren't talking you calling out 10,115 toothpicks, Rainman. We're talking you knowing 10,115 human beings, all with different names, some of them just plain ridiculous.
"And there's #82... Quantay Robinson."
Quantay? Really? That sounds like a a sci-fi arcade game from 1986. If that's your name, cool. But don't expect anyone, especially a 70-year old grandpa, to pronounce it right the first 34 times.