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WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!
Great Bama Basketball news, too!!
http://lightlybuzzed.com/2015/04/01/uab-football-will-return-in-2016/
More From College Football
The University of Alabama System Board of Trustees has finally given in to the intense political pressure brought by literally tens of UAB fans across the state of Alabama and approved a plan to reinstate UAB football.
UAB football will be back, but it’s going to be different. The conditions on the restoration of UAB football include a number of cost saving changes.
#1 – UAB football will no longer play it’s games at Legion Field, but in the the Legion Field parking lot. The exact portion of the parking lot to be used will be determined by which side has the fewest broken bottles and syringes.
#2 – UAB won’t be able to fill a full schedule for 2016 and so will just play 12 games against random hobos they find on Arkadelphia road.
#3 – The UAB boosters have agreed to sell at least a dozen tickets to each and every game.
#4 – The grown adults behind the #FreeUAB will have immunity and not be charged with domestic terrorism but do agree to do something actually constructive with their lives.
#5 – UAB will hire a new low cost football coach.
Scenic Jack Williams Field, Home of UAB Football
UAB plans to name their new field after Jack Williams who of course is the Alabama Representative who tried to save UAB football through legislative blackmail.
Cost saving measure #1 shouldn’t be a problem for UAB students since hanging out in parking lots is one of the most popular extracurricular activities at UAB.
BREAKING: ALABAMA HIRES CHARLES BARKLEY AS NEW HEAD FOOTBALL COACH.
Possible UAB Head Football Coach Houston Nutt
The real challenge ahead of UAB is finding the right coach for cheap. The current leading candidate in the search is of course former Ole Miss and Arkansas head coach Houston Nutt. The contract that UAB and Nutt have supposedly been trying to hammer out is a five year deal that includes both chicken nuggets and some antibiotic ointment for Coach Nutt’s rash.
“I jus can’t wait to start heppin peeple in Burbingham!” exclaimed an obviously over-stimulated Houston Nutt. “I’m also excited about getting some chichen nuggies cause they is malicious and I ain’t eaten in a week!”
It looks like the efforts of students like Tucker “Big Dog” Williams a former Hoover High School cornerback, #FreeUAB supporter, and 4th year online medical technician student at UAB have finally paid off. “I’m just glad to see UAB do the right thing, I mean I didn’t choose UAB just because the other schools in Alabama rejected me. Well… I mean I did, but that’s not the point yo.”
Actually there is no point because if you haven’t realized that this is just an April Fools joke by now then I don’t know what do with you! As Coach Houston Nutt might say “they ain’t be no heppin that one!” #FreeUAB y’all!
Great Bama Basketball news, too!!
http://lightlybuzzed.com/2015/04/01/uab-football-will-return-in-2016/
More From College Football
- 3/25 - Alabama Politician Seeks To End University of Alabama Football
- 3/12 - Nick Saban Finishes Third In Alabama Student Government Election
- 3/10 - Dak Prescott got his face kicked in at a Waka Flocka show (Video)
- 2/17 - Auburn Football Players Accused of Harassing Veteran and Service Dog
- 2/17 - Tennessee fans have sex in Neyland Stadium press box, post photo on Snapchat
The University of Alabama System Board of Trustees has finally given in to the intense political pressure brought by literally tens of UAB fans across the state of Alabama and approved a plan to reinstate UAB football.
UAB football will be back, but it’s going to be different. The conditions on the restoration of UAB football include a number of cost saving changes.
#1 – UAB football will no longer play it’s games at Legion Field, but in the the Legion Field parking lot. The exact portion of the parking lot to be used will be determined by which side has the fewest broken bottles and syringes.
#2 – UAB won’t be able to fill a full schedule for 2016 and so will just play 12 games against random hobos they find on Arkadelphia road.
#3 – The UAB boosters have agreed to sell at least a dozen tickets to each and every game.
#4 – The grown adults behind the #FreeUAB will have immunity and not be charged with domestic terrorism but do agree to do something actually constructive with their lives.
#5 – UAB will hire a new low cost football coach.
Scenic Jack Williams Field, Home of UAB Football
UAB plans to name their new field after Jack Williams who of course is the Alabama Representative who tried to save UAB football through legislative blackmail.
Cost saving measure #1 shouldn’t be a problem for UAB students since hanging out in parking lots is one of the most popular extracurricular activities at UAB.
BREAKING: ALABAMA HIRES CHARLES BARKLEY AS NEW HEAD FOOTBALL COACH.
Possible UAB Head Football Coach Houston Nutt
The real challenge ahead of UAB is finding the right coach for cheap. The current leading candidate in the search is of course former Ole Miss and Arkansas head coach Houston Nutt. The contract that UAB and Nutt have supposedly been trying to hammer out is a five year deal that includes both chicken nuggets and some antibiotic ointment for Coach Nutt’s rash.
“I jus can’t wait to start heppin peeple in Burbingham!” exclaimed an obviously over-stimulated Houston Nutt. “I’m also excited about getting some chichen nuggies cause they is malicious and I ain’t eaten in a week!”
It looks like the efforts of students like Tucker “Big Dog” Williams a former Hoover High School cornerback, #FreeUAB supporter, and 4th year online medical technician student at UAB have finally paid off. “I’m just glad to see UAB do the right thing, I mean I didn’t choose UAB just because the other schools in Alabama rejected me. Well… I mean I did, but that’s not the point yo.”
Actually there is no point because if you haven’t realized that this is just an April Fools joke by now then I don’t know what do with you! As Coach Houston Nutt might say “they ain’t be no heppin that one!” #FreeUAB y’all!
