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The epic love affair of Cherry and Bart Starr
He had to ask her four times before she finally said yes. He was too poor. She was too nervous.
When the day came to elope, he borrowed a friend's car because his was a jalopy. She changed into her wedding dress inside a muddy service station in rural Mississippi.
Cherry and Bart Starr were both 20 years old in May of 1954. Their love has spanned more than six decades.
Cherry, 81, and Bart, 82, who will celebrate their 62nd wedding anniversary this May, have doted upon each other on Valentine's Day ever since they were upperclassmen at Montgomery's Sidney Lanier High School. If Sunday is the Hallmark holiday, then Bart has done his job through the years. Cherry has saved dozens of cards from her husband.
"We should have interest in the company I have so many," she said.
Today is a day for lovers, but for the Starrs it could also be a day of reflection. Together for so long, their marriage now seems just as legendary as Bart's playing days for the Green Bay Packers. Celebrated sweethearts, their longstanding romance is truly inspiring.
"One of the great things they do is they make it a habit of expressing to each other how they feel toward each other," Bart Starr Jr. said. "They don't let that go unspoken. Whether it was verbally, or a series of notes ... we shouldn't miss an opportunity to tell those who mean something to us, that they mean something to us.
"Never miss that chance."
The Starrs relationship has carried them together through every stage of their adult lives. There has been breathtaking joy and incomprehensible pain. Adored throughout the country, the Starrs have used Bart's platform and their union to help the lives of others. Now, a new stage of life has arrived. After multiple strokes and most recently a broken hip, Bart needs special care. Cherry, caregivers and some dedicated friends have been there to provide it.
Bart and Cherry Starr: A love letterBack in 1995, Cherry Starr wrote a letter to her husband, former Alabama QB and SuperBowl MVP Bart Starr. Watch as she reads that letter publicly for the first time.
He has responded well following each setback, and his therapist says Cherry is a big reason why. Strokes have disrupted his brain's language center, and dementia complicates daily rehabilitation sessions. Still, he responds to Cherry.
Always has.
What's the secret to a long and happy marriage? Cherry Starr hears that question all the time. There is no secret. Just make every day special.
And be ready to compromise.
UNSURE FUTURE
A student at Auburn in 1954, Cherry dropped out of school after her elopement and didn't see Bart for several months. She then moved to Tuscaloosa not to enroll in Auburn's rival, but to be with her new husband, a struggling quarterback for the Crimson Tide. Cherry worked as a photographer's assistant to help pay the bills, and the couple lived in an old Army barracks that served as family-student housing.
So poorly constructed, the slipshod barracks had grass growing through the floorboards.
What's the one thing stronger than this state's suffocating football rivalry? As many couples know, that crazy thing called love.
Before Cherry ever moved to Tuscaloosa, Bart turned down a scholarship offer from Paul "Bear" Bryant at Kentucky to stay in Alabama and remain close to Cherry. Alabama was awful at the time, and wouldn't be good again until Bryant took over in 1958.
Starr once called his decision to attend Alabama "the greatest audible of my life."
He knew Kentucky wouldn't work. Cherry would have been too far away.
"He didn't want to lose me," Cherry said.
In those early days of their courtship, Bart would drive to Auburn once a month to visit. He knew he could lose his scholarship over it, but he asked Cherry to marry him anyway. She said no ... over and over and over.
Bart came from a relatively poor family, and Cherry just didn't know if it would work.
"But he kept badgering me," she said.
Bart found a justice of the peace who would marry them on the sly in Columbus, Miss. After their secret ceremony, Cherry lived with her parents for several months. She kept their elopement a secret as long as she could, but Bart mailed a letter to the Morton's Mississippi home addressed to Mrs. Bart Starr.
Her mother questioned Cherry about the letter, and she erupted into tears. Yes, she was married to a football player who received $87.50 a month for living expenses.
Things didn't get much better when Bart was drafted in the 17th round by the Packers.
His starting salary was $6,500.
TIRE SALESMAN
Here's some perspective on how much the NFL has changed since those early days. The Packers' current quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, makes more in one game than Bart Starr made in his entire 16-year career.
Before Vince Lombardi revolutionized a game, and his brilliant quarterback helped make football America's most popular sport, Bart was selling tires in the offseason just to pay the bills.
"Bart never had an agent, not in 16 years, and he never had any money either," Cherry said.
Similar to his days at Alabama, Bart was mostly an anonymous and obscure football player for his first few years in Green Bay. The Starrs weren't struggling anymore — Green Bay has always taken care of its Packers — but fame and notoriety didn't come until Lombardi left New York for Wisconsin in 1959. Even then, Bart's long-term prospects as a professional football player were questionable.
These days, there's enough money in the game to justify the strain a career in pro football puts on a marriage. In the 50s and 60s, it was different.
"We have wonderful memories, but people think it's so glamorous being married to a football player," Cherry said. "It's a hard life, and a very different life. There are a lot of temptations in the game because people are attracted to athletes because they're athletes ... and there's a lot of stress because most of the players are fighting to maintain their positions."
Bart wasn't an entrenched starter — college or pro — until 1960, or his fifth season in Green Bay.
Starr won his first of five NFL championships in 1961, but it wasn't until after Super Bowl II, or his final NFL title, when Bart and Cherry found themselves in a position to give back on a grand scale. That's when Bart got a random call from a man named John Gillespie.
RAWHIDE RANCH
Cherry and Bart knew they wanted to help troubled teens in Wisconsin, they just didn't know how to begin.
The Gillespies showed them the way.
Along with Cherry and Bart, John and Jan Gillespie are the co-founders ofRawhide Boys Ranch, a facility for troubled boys located near New London, Wis. Started in the 1960s with the help of the Starrs, Rawhide is now a gold standard nationally for alternative education.
After being approached to put their names behind the project, Bart relied on Cherry's judgement to get involved. She nodded her head in approval on that fateful evening when the Gillespies visited the Starrs for supper.
The Starrs now consider helping co-found the Rawhide Boys Ranch one of the best decisions of their lives, and one of the greatest achievements of their marriage.
"The Gillespies actually gave us the best gift of our marriage," Cherry said. "We're so thankful they asked us to help."
A property developer by trade, John Gillespie had no connection to the Starrs before he dialed directory assistance in the hopes of connecting with the most popular man in Wisconsin.
Gillespie says he'll never forget his first conversation with Bart:
"A man answered and said, 'Hello,'" Gillespie said. "And I said, 'Is this the Starr residence?'"
"It is," Starr replied.
"Is Mr. Starr there?" Gillespie asked.
"No, no Mr. Starr here," Starr said. "Bart is here, though."
"Oh, that's who I want to talk to," Gillespie said.
"Well, you're talking to him," Starr said.
Without knowing Starr, the recent MVP of the first Super Bowl, Gillespie laid out his vision for the boys ranch over the phone.
"We have this dream to work with teenage boys who are in tough situations, and we found a piece of property, and people have said that maybe you and Cherry would have a similar interest," Gillespie said. "Would it ever be possible to meet with you and show you some pictures of the property and tell you what our goals are?"
"Certainly,'" Starr said.
"Well, how do I make an appointment?" Gillespie said.
"Do you want to come to Green Bay right now?" Starr said.
Since its founding, Rawhide Boys Ranch has changed the lives of thousands.
And, for a few years there, Cherry Starr tried to hug every single resident of the ranch.
A notorious hugger, Cherry used to embrace every boy at the ranch when she would visit. To help the Gillespies buy the 700-acre property on the Wolf River, the Starrs raffled off the Corvette convertible Bart received as a gift for winning the MVP award for Super Bowl II.
"There was a lottery law in the state of Wisconsin, and you couldn't raffle anything off, but we knew the governor, Warren Knowles," Cherry said. "I called him and told him what we were going to do, and what we wanted to do, and he said if you can do it between Friday and Monday, we'll overlook the lottery law.
"We had tickets printed up, and the little city of Green Bay had 47,000 people at the time, and Saturday and Sunday we sold 40,000 tickets for a dollar each. I took the money to the bank in suitcases."
During their trip to Green Bay last Thanksgiving for Brett Farve's jersey retirement, the Starrs also made time to help raise $150,000 for Rawhide Boys Ranch.
"As a couple, those two were wonderful role models for hundreds and hundreds of boys that have never really experienced a loving mother and father," Gillespie said.
And maybe in a small way, the Starrs' work at Rawhide helped them heal after the tragic death of their own son.
UNSPEAKABLE LOSS
Bret Starr, Cherry and Bart's youngest son, died at the age of 24 after a struggle with drug addiction. It was Bart who found Bret's body.
The Starrs are a family of highly intelligent people, and Bret was no different. His IQ was measured at 144 when he was a child, according to Cherry.
"They wanted him to skip two grades, but I wouldn't do it," Cherry said. "I thought he was too immature."
Bret's drug addiction devastated the family, and the Starrs eventually moved him to Clearwater, Fla., to receive treatment. Bart was friends with a therapist who worked for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
They hadn't heard from Bret in several days, so Bart flew to Florida to check on his son.
"It was very, very difficult for Bart because he was the one who found our son after we hadn't heard from him," Cherry said. "He had been there for three days."
It's hurts to even read about a parent losing a child. There are many stages of pain, but the most pronounced might be the unshakable feeling of guilt. The Starrs turned to each other for support, but then, like they had done so many times before, tried to use their experience to help others.
They traveled across the country speaking about drug addiction.
"We decided we would tell our story because it's embarrassing to admit you have a child who is addicted to drugs because we thought it was a reflection of us as parents," Cherry said. "But I found out that wasn't true."
Bart Starr Jr., now 58 years old and living in Birmingham, admires his parents for many things, but especially how they cared for each other after the loss of his brother.
"That is the sort of thing you could see lead to a relationship becoming frayed as opposed to strengthened," Bart Starr Jr. said. "They have stayed true to themselves. It is in their nature, and always has been in their nature, to reach out to others who are in need.
"That's the most traumatic situation anyone could go through, the loss of a child, but rather than become isolated from their friends and society, they took it upon themselves to continue to reach out in a moment of great anguish, and specifically reach out to those who had been through similar situations."
In honor of their son, the Starrs created the Bret Starr Memorial Fund to help boys at the Rawhide Boys Ranch transition into adulthood.
"Making the difference in someone's life, you can see how that could strengthen your marriage," Bart Starr Jr. said.
THOUGHTFUL, GENUINE, RESPECTED
How the Starrs have used their love for each other to affect positive change is their true legacy, says those closest to the couple.
The NFL has long revered the Starrs, and the Athletes in Action/Bart Starr Award given every year at the Super Bowl breakfast — one of the most respected awards inside the fraternity of the NFL — is just as much a tribute to Cherry as it is Bart.
According to the NFL, the award "was created to honor the NFL player who best exemplifies outstanding character and leadership in the home, on the field and in the community." Bart Starr represents those qualities: "an individual of impeccable character who has served his family and community faithfully through the years and is a role model for athletes and business people alike."
No two people are more respected in the NFL than Cherry and Bart Starr.
A friend of the family for 25 years, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell calls the Starrs regularly to check in with Cherry and receive updates on Bart's condition. Archie Manning called the Starrs after his son Peyton won the Super Bowl in what was most likely the final game of his career.
Universal admiration for the Starrs comes not through their fame, but how they have treated others through the years. That compassion for others is an extension of how they treat each other.
"We just really love each other, and respect each other and treat each other with dignity," Cherry said.
For Bart Starr Jr., watching his parents interact with one another through the years has left a lasting impression. He hopes others will also be inspired by his parents' love for one another.
"That's one of the great mysteries on Valentine's Day," Bart Starr Jr. said. "Why is it sometimes we're willing to treat people we see just every now and then with a long lost hug, but then someone you're nearly married to or actually married to, all of sudden familiarity becomes something negative? That's inexplicable.
"Why shouldn't the familiarity of someone you love and cherish, why shouldn't that become even more of an elevating and energizing quality rather than something less? And I think my mom and dad have definitely done that.
He had to ask her four times before she finally said yes. He was too poor. She was too nervous.
When the day came to elope, he borrowed a friend's car because his was a jalopy. She changed into her wedding dress inside a muddy service station in rural Mississippi.
Cherry and Bart Starr were both 20 years old in May of 1954. Their love has spanned more than six decades.
Cherry, 81, and Bart, 82, who will celebrate their 62nd wedding anniversary this May, have doted upon each other on Valentine's Day ever since they were upperclassmen at Montgomery's Sidney Lanier High School. If Sunday is the Hallmark holiday, then Bart has done his job through the years. Cherry has saved dozens of cards from her husband.
"We should have interest in the company I have so many," she said.
Today is a day for lovers, but for the Starrs it could also be a day of reflection. Together for so long, their marriage now seems just as legendary as Bart's playing days for the Green Bay Packers. Celebrated sweethearts, their longstanding romance is truly inspiring.
"One of the great things they do is they make it a habit of expressing to each other how they feel toward each other," Bart Starr Jr. said. "They don't let that go unspoken. Whether it was verbally, or a series of notes ... we shouldn't miss an opportunity to tell those who mean something to us, that they mean something to us.
"Never miss that chance."
The Starrs relationship has carried them together through every stage of their adult lives. There has been breathtaking joy and incomprehensible pain. Adored throughout the country, the Starrs have used Bart's platform and their union to help the lives of others. Now, a new stage of life has arrived. After multiple strokes and most recently a broken hip, Bart needs special care. Cherry, caregivers and some dedicated friends have been there to provide it.
Bart and Cherry Starr: A love letterBack in 1995, Cherry Starr wrote a letter to her husband, former Alabama QB and SuperBowl MVP Bart Starr. Watch as she reads that letter publicly for the first time.
He has responded well following each setback, and his therapist says Cherry is a big reason why. Strokes have disrupted his brain's language center, and dementia complicates daily rehabilitation sessions. Still, he responds to Cherry.
Always has.
What's the secret to a long and happy marriage? Cherry Starr hears that question all the time. There is no secret. Just make every day special.
And be ready to compromise.
UNSURE FUTURE
A student at Auburn in 1954, Cherry dropped out of school after her elopement and didn't see Bart for several months. She then moved to Tuscaloosa not to enroll in Auburn's rival, but to be with her new husband, a struggling quarterback for the Crimson Tide. Cherry worked as a photographer's assistant to help pay the bills, and the couple lived in an old Army barracks that served as family-student housing.
So poorly constructed, the slipshod barracks had grass growing through the floorboards.
What's the one thing stronger than this state's suffocating football rivalry? As many couples know, that crazy thing called love.
Before Cherry ever moved to Tuscaloosa, Bart turned down a scholarship offer from Paul "Bear" Bryant at Kentucky to stay in Alabama and remain close to Cherry. Alabama was awful at the time, and wouldn't be good again until Bryant took over in 1958.
Starr once called his decision to attend Alabama "the greatest audible of my life."
He knew Kentucky wouldn't work. Cherry would have been too far away.
"He didn't want to lose me," Cherry said.
In those early days of their courtship, Bart would drive to Auburn once a month to visit. He knew he could lose his scholarship over it, but he asked Cherry to marry him anyway. She said no ... over and over and over.
Bart came from a relatively poor family, and Cherry just didn't know if it would work.
"But he kept badgering me," she said.
Bart found a justice of the peace who would marry them on the sly in Columbus, Miss. After their secret ceremony, Cherry lived with her parents for several months. She kept their elopement a secret as long as she could, but Bart mailed a letter to the Morton's Mississippi home addressed to Mrs. Bart Starr.
Her mother questioned Cherry about the letter, and she erupted into tears. Yes, she was married to a football player who received $87.50 a month for living expenses.
Things didn't get much better when Bart was drafted in the 17th round by the Packers.
His starting salary was $6,500.
TIRE SALESMAN
Here's some perspective on how much the NFL has changed since those early days. The Packers' current quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, makes more in one game than Bart Starr made in his entire 16-year career.
Before Vince Lombardi revolutionized a game, and his brilliant quarterback helped make football America's most popular sport, Bart was selling tires in the offseason just to pay the bills.
"Bart never had an agent, not in 16 years, and he never had any money either," Cherry said.
Similar to his days at Alabama, Bart was mostly an anonymous and obscure football player for his first few years in Green Bay. The Starrs weren't struggling anymore — Green Bay has always taken care of its Packers — but fame and notoriety didn't come until Lombardi left New York for Wisconsin in 1959. Even then, Bart's long-term prospects as a professional football player were questionable.
These days, there's enough money in the game to justify the strain a career in pro football puts on a marriage. In the 50s and 60s, it was different.
"We have wonderful memories, but people think it's so glamorous being married to a football player," Cherry said. "It's a hard life, and a very different life. There are a lot of temptations in the game because people are attracted to athletes because they're athletes ... and there's a lot of stress because most of the players are fighting to maintain their positions."
Bart wasn't an entrenched starter — college or pro — until 1960, or his fifth season in Green Bay.
Starr won his first of five NFL championships in 1961, but it wasn't until after Super Bowl II, or his final NFL title, when Bart and Cherry found themselves in a position to give back on a grand scale. That's when Bart got a random call from a man named John Gillespie.
RAWHIDE RANCH
Cherry and Bart knew they wanted to help troubled teens in Wisconsin, they just didn't know how to begin.
The Gillespies showed them the way.
Along with Cherry and Bart, John and Jan Gillespie are the co-founders ofRawhide Boys Ranch, a facility for troubled boys located near New London, Wis. Started in the 1960s with the help of the Starrs, Rawhide is now a gold standard nationally for alternative education.
After being approached to put their names behind the project, Bart relied on Cherry's judgement to get involved. She nodded her head in approval on that fateful evening when the Gillespies visited the Starrs for supper.
The Starrs now consider helping co-found the Rawhide Boys Ranch one of the best decisions of their lives, and one of the greatest achievements of their marriage.
"The Gillespies actually gave us the best gift of our marriage," Cherry said. "We're so thankful they asked us to help."
A property developer by trade, John Gillespie had no connection to the Starrs before he dialed directory assistance in the hopes of connecting with the most popular man in Wisconsin.
Gillespie says he'll never forget his first conversation with Bart:
"A man answered and said, 'Hello,'" Gillespie said. "And I said, 'Is this the Starr residence?'"
"It is," Starr replied.
"Is Mr. Starr there?" Gillespie asked.
"No, no Mr. Starr here," Starr said. "Bart is here, though."
"Oh, that's who I want to talk to," Gillespie said.
"Well, you're talking to him," Starr said.
Without knowing Starr, the recent MVP of the first Super Bowl, Gillespie laid out his vision for the boys ranch over the phone.
"We have this dream to work with teenage boys who are in tough situations, and we found a piece of property, and people have said that maybe you and Cherry would have a similar interest," Gillespie said. "Would it ever be possible to meet with you and show you some pictures of the property and tell you what our goals are?"
"Certainly,'" Starr said.
"Well, how do I make an appointment?" Gillespie said.
"Do you want to come to Green Bay right now?" Starr said.
Since its founding, Rawhide Boys Ranch has changed the lives of thousands.
And, for a few years there, Cherry Starr tried to hug every single resident of the ranch.
A notorious hugger, Cherry used to embrace every boy at the ranch when she would visit. To help the Gillespies buy the 700-acre property on the Wolf River, the Starrs raffled off the Corvette convertible Bart received as a gift for winning the MVP award for Super Bowl II.
"There was a lottery law in the state of Wisconsin, and you couldn't raffle anything off, but we knew the governor, Warren Knowles," Cherry said. "I called him and told him what we were going to do, and what we wanted to do, and he said if you can do it between Friday and Monday, we'll overlook the lottery law.
"We had tickets printed up, and the little city of Green Bay had 47,000 people at the time, and Saturday and Sunday we sold 40,000 tickets for a dollar each. I took the money to the bank in suitcases."
During their trip to Green Bay last Thanksgiving for Brett Farve's jersey retirement, the Starrs also made time to help raise $150,000 for Rawhide Boys Ranch.
"As a couple, those two were wonderful role models for hundreds and hundreds of boys that have never really experienced a loving mother and father," Gillespie said.
And maybe in a small way, the Starrs' work at Rawhide helped them heal after the tragic death of their own son.
UNSPEAKABLE LOSS
Bret Starr, Cherry and Bart's youngest son, died at the age of 24 after a struggle with drug addiction. It was Bart who found Bret's body.
The Starrs are a family of highly intelligent people, and Bret was no different. His IQ was measured at 144 when he was a child, according to Cherry.
"They wanted him to skip two grades, but I wouldn't do it," Cherry said. "I thought he was too immature."
Bret's drug addiction devastated the family, and the Starrs eventually moved him to Clearwater, Fla., to receive treatment. Bart was friends with a therapist who worked for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
They hadn't heard from Bret in several days, so Bart flew to Florida to check on his son.
"It was very, very difficult for Bart because he was the one who found our son after we hadn't heard from him," Cherry said. "He had been there for three days."
It's hurts to even read about a parent losing a child. There are many stages of pain, but the most pronounced might be the unshakable feeling of guilt. The Starrs turned to each other for support, but then, like they had done so many times before, tried to use their experience to help others.
They traveled across the country speaking about drug addiction.
"We decided we would tell our story because it's embarrassing to admit you have a child who is addicted to drugs because we thought it was a reflection of us as parents," Cherry said. "But I found out that wasn't true."
Bart Starr Jr., now 58 years old and living in Birmingham, admires his parents for many things, but especially how they cared for each other after the loss of his brother.
"That is the sort of thing you could see lead to a relationship becoming frayed as opposed to strengthened," Bart Starr Jr. said. "They have stayed true to themselves. It is in their nature, and always has been in their nature, to reach out to others who are in need.
"That's the most traumatic situation anyone could go through, the loss of a child, but rather than become isolated from their friends and society, they took it upon themselves to continue to reach out in a moment of great anguish, and specifically reach out to those who had been through similar situations."
In honor of their son, the Starrs created the Bret Starr Memorial Fund to help boys at the Rawhide Boys Ranch transition into adulthood.
"Making the difference in someone's life, you can see how that could strengthen your marriage," Bart Starr Jr. said.
THOUGHTFUL, GENUINE, RESPECTED
How the Starrs have used their love for each other to affect positive change is their true legacy, says those closest to the couple.
The NFL has long revered the Starrs, and the Athletes in Action/Bart Starr Award given every year at the Super Bowl breakfast — one of the most respected awards inside the fraternity of the NFL — is just as much a tribute to Cherry as it is Bart.
According to the NFL, the award "was created to honor the NFL player who best exemplifies outstanding character and leadership in the home, on the field and in the community." Bart Starr represents those qualities: "an individual of impeccable character who has served his family and community faithfully through the years and is a role model for athletes and business people alike."
No two people are more respected in the NFL than Cherry and Bart Starr.
A friend of the family for 25 years, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell calls the Starrs regularly to check in with Cherry and receive updates on Bart's condition. Archie Manning called the Starrs after his son Peyton won the Super Bowl in what was most likely the final game of his career.
Universal admiration for the Starrs comes not through their fame, but how they have treated others through the years. That compassion for others is an extension of how they treat each other.
"We just really love each other, and respect each other and treat each other with dignity," Cherry said.
For Bart Starr Jr., watching his parents interact with one another through the years has left a lasting impression. He hopes others will also be inspired by his parents' love for one another.
"That's one of the great mysteries on Valentine's Day," Bart Starr Jr. said. "Why is it sometimes we're willing to treat people we see just every now and then with a long lost hug, but then someone you're nearly married to or actually married to, all of sudden familiarity becomes something negative? That's inexplicable.
"Why shouldn't the familiarity of someone you love and cherish, why shouldn't that become even more of an elevating and energizing quality rather than something less? And I think my mom and dad have definitely done that.
