bamafan4ever
Staff
It's Official! Saban to coach the Longhorns in the year 2068!
Austin, TX - In a move that is certain to excite the Longhorn faithful both far and wide, especially the younger fans, University of Texas Board of Regents member Tom Hicks has commissioned the best and brightest from the scientific community to clone Coach Nick Saban.
Hicks, who has long sought to bring Saban from Tuscaloosa to Austin said he came up with the idea after watching the late 1970's sitcom Mork and Mindy. "It was that egg that caught my attention", Hicks said, "if a man can travel around in an egg, why can't we just incubate us a Nick Saban and put him in a crystal egg? We can with by God Texas oil money!"
Hicks said he grew tired of the original Nick Saban's refusal to leave Alabama so he "took matters into my own hands, by God!".
"Look here", Hicks said. "That SOB is as stubborn as a lop-eared mule so something had to be done and I got sick of just watching those damn tickers at the bottom of the ESPN saying Saban ain't going nowhere. We are by God Texas and he was coming here whether he wanted to or not!"
Hick's scientists say that the Crystal Egg Saban Incubator, known as CEggSI, will actually be ready in 20 years but Hicks insisted on waiting until CEggSI hit 55 years of age. "The original didn't know what the hell he wanted until he was 55 years old so I ain't taking no damn chances!", Hicks said.
