There were some life events that “proved to me” that GOD was a man made idea. I was 20 and in the Navy living the libertine lifestyle as hard as I could. Fast forward 9 or 10 years and I had the most frightening, profound experience late one night that reset my theological compass. Several churches and I’m feeling the call as well. A change of area of the state and a couple of churches disabused me of the calling. I was still in church every time the doors opened and one Sunday morning the preacher delivered a rousing, inspirational message but he said something about an upcoming service that disturbed me. I called the church several times before I got an appointment to speak with the pastor approx 2 weeks from the call. I met the pastor and I brought up my issue theologically and supported the issue with relevant scripture. His reply was basically, “That’s just the way that everyone does it.” That point being one of the key items that the “rousing, inspirational” sermon preached against. Gobsmacked would probably describe the look that I’m sure he saw in my face because his smiling demeanor changed.
I rose and informed him that as there are 2 or 3K there any given Sunday, me and my family wouldn’t be missed. You are a hypocrite.
I turned my back on churches not GOD. I think that your issue with Christianity could be similar in nature.
If Caesar taxes the population into near poverty and churches are tax free, the temples become part and parcel of the government.
We are exhorted to seek HIS face and call on HIS name not a building, denomination, so called saints, or anything man made. Please understand that I’m not trying to antagonize you but I see similarities between both of our journeys, we just took diverging paths at the moment of choosing. The good news is nothing is final yet and I will pray unceasing that GOD moves in your life.
PS- coincidental or not within a couple of years the pastor came down with a disease and lost his ministry. Took him several years but he recovered and has an online ministry now.
