🏈 Iron Bowl Week. What's a joke you have.

[RollllTide!]

Allburn and Alabama fan arrives at the pearly gates together. St. Peter says to the BAMA fan. You are going strait to hell because you have ruined the chances for 3 other programs for many years. Texas, FSU, and Tennessee. He turns to the Allburn fan and says welcome to Heaven. You have been in hell long enough.

 

[rocknthefreeworld]

It's the Iron Bowl. There are 2 seconds left in the game. Auburn has the ball at the Bama 5 down 3 points. Gus calls a timeout and turns his attention skyward.

"Oh Lord. I need help. Do I go for overtime or should I end this here and now?"

A voice thunders from above. "DO NOT GO FOR THE TIE! Flea flicker right side for the win."

Gus thanks The Allmighty and sends Nix in with the play. Nix takes the snap and is snowed under before he can even take a step. He fumbles the ball away and Bama covers it up, sealing the win for the Tide.

Afterward, Gus just stares at the sky and screams "Lord, why did you tell me to do that?"

From above he hears "Hey Bear, why did we tell him to do that?"

 

[alabamajack]

A group of auburn football players were put in a remedial English class. The professor asks "does anyone know what goes at the end of the sentence"? There was a moment of silence then several of them raised their hands "we know we know... The appeal"

 

[rick4bama]

I would, but I was told not to talk about my nincompoop friends that way!

 

[UAgrad93]

 

[simcoe]

Alabama Usually Beats Us 'Round November

 

[SnakeFan]

What does an Aweburn student call a helicopter? (While looking up and pointing skyward) “Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!”

 

[MunchyOs]

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as Gus Malzahn came on the TV. After a few sips he looked up at the screen and mumbled, "Now there is the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." Immediately a customer at the end of the bar got up, walked over, decked him and left. A few minutes later, the man was finishing his beer when Kevin Steele appeared on the TV. "He's a horse's ass too," he said. A customer from the other end of the bar got up, walked over and knocked him off his stool. "Dadgum!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be auburn country." "Nope," the bartender replied, "Horse country!"

 

[JoseyWalesTheOutlaw]

 

[shipley00]

Gus Malzahn

 

[alabama mike]

What do you say to an Auburn player dressed in a three-piece suit?

Will the defendant please rise?

 

[bama alum]

 

[18Champs]

Nowhere but Auburn could you...

Name your football field after a fired and supposedly exiled cheating head football coach.

Have another fired head coach document the elaborate scheme step, by step on how the've bought player after player through the years in a two part published exposé.

Have one ex-player after another go on record for years on end how they were bought and paid for by boog powerbrokers.

Admittedly have boosters pay a juco star QB's dad thousands and thousands of dollars for his son signing to play there, but the player didn't know, *wink *wink.

Have a softball coach screw several players, impregnating one and threaten the one's he wasn't messing with to keep their mouths shut or lose their scholarship.

Be the first school to ever hire a head coach with a NCAA "show cause" hanging over his head. Not to mention the guy was a well known and admitted cheater his entire career.

Have the head coaches top recruiter be sentenced to federal prison for paying player and getting caught doing it on a FBI wiretap.

Have his head coach then refuse to even meet with school officials to discuss the dirty dealings by his top assistant.

Hire another assistant to replace the jailed one, who subsequently gets indicted for cheating at his previous school.

The school subsequently gives the known cheater head coach, who completely ignored their request to discuss the situations a raise and contract extension.

And do all of the above plus much, much more in the name of God, while reciting their precious creed about fair play and honesty.

Again, Nowhere but auburn.

 

[bamaledge]

Aweburn!
Nuff said!

 

[JoshB]

I've been seeing a lot of this sorta thing going around...

 

[RollllTide!]

A guy goes on a recruiting trip to Auburn, sees a golden telephone, and asks what it's for, Gus says, "it's a direct link to heaven", guy says, "wow, can I use it?" , Gus says, "yeah, but it'll cost ya $50", guy says "nah, don't have any cash on me."

He goes on to Tennessee, and sees the same telephone, "hey, is that a direct link to heaven?" he says. Phil says, yeah, if you wanna use it, it'll cost ya $75." guys says, "nah, don't have any cash on me."

Next he visits Bama, and sees that SAME telephone, "hey, is that a direct link to heaven?" he says. Nick says "sure, go ahead and make a call, it's free", the recruit stands up confused and says "free? Gus said it cost $50 and Phil said $75...why is it free here?" Nick says, "well, my boy, here in Tuscaloosa it's a local call".

 

[BAMAneck]

Everytime someone is tackled on their indoor practice facility logo they get my piss in their face .......


jokes on them , literally...... ROLL TIDE...